7 Surefire Rules to A Better YOU - Part 7 of 7

Rule 7 - Realize that What You Want, You Will Get.

A couple of years ago, I experienced the power of getting what I wanted - though it was not what I would call a pleasant experience. We just bought a new X-Trail, and on one visit to my parents', we parked the car across the house. Now this is where my parents and siblings always park their cars, and there were no issues. However, as my bedroom has the view of this parking space, I constantly flip the curtain open to see if the car is ok. When my dogs bark, even once, I jump on my bed to look at the car. When I hear voices, I'm up again. It's safe to say, that I never was able to get a good night's worth of slumber! Then, an unbelievable thing happened - one night, as I heard the dogs bark and I looked outside, I saw 3 men in black by my car - well, technically, half of their bodies were in my car! At that second, I felt my heart literally stop. I was shocked! I woke my husband up and we ran downstairs. The hustle and bustle woke the entire family up, and we were down within seconds. By then, the thieves had run away, and we were left to see the damage that they caused on the X-Trail - one shattered window, my husband's stolen Ray-Bans, some damage on the dashboard and a lot of broken hearts. They tried to steal the radio, but couldn't - and stole the radio remote control instead (just to show us they were angry, it seemed).

So, lesson learnt. I got exactly what I was looking for. Every night, I slept in fear that my car was going to be broken into, and guess what...it finally was.

Many of you would have heard of the saying "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve" or "Whether you think you can or you cannot, you are right". There are so many of such quotes and sayings, across the centuries, and they all mean the same thing - You Get Exactly What You Want.

Those of you who have watched or read The Secret will know what I'm saying. The concept is a very simple, basic one - You get what you want - but in reality, this is one of the most difficult concepts for man to fathom, accept or live.

People Who Know ThisThere are thousands out there who know this concept, and they practise this

1. Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup series. Canfield was a teacher, making USD 8000 a year. Then, he decided he wanted to make USD 100,000 a year. So he thought about it, felt it in every fibre of his being, visualized it, worked at it when opportunity came his way - and in the end, though a few thousand dollars short of his dream, he ended up with more than USD 90,000! How can that happen?

2. Shahrukh Khan, famed Bollywood actor. Days before Shahrukh was a huge star, he had a dream to marry his girlfriend. A nice, simple dream, except that he was a Muslim, and his girlfriend, a staunch Hindu. They kept the relationship under wraps for 6 years, but Shahrukh simply refused to give up his dream of marrying this girl. It may seem like nothing special, but in India, marrying someone from a different caste or religion can prove fatal! But he persisted, and persisted, and persisted, knowing deep in him that someday, she will be his - and that day came by, and today, Shahrukh is happily married to Gauri, the girl he was relentlessly pursuing.

3. Christina Aguilera, American recording artiste and actress, with a string of awards in her possession. When interviewed, she was asked if she had ever imagined being the success story that she is today, and she answered"It freaks me out when I think about it, but I think I'm a bit psychic and that I predicted my own future for everything has happened exactly how I used to daydream it would." How did she do it?

There are thousands more who know this.

Remember this concept!
If you want something bad enough, you will get it - and it doesn't matter if what you want is something good or bad.
What do you want?
Have you ever taken the time to think of what it is you really want in life? Of what makes you happy?
- A million dollars?
- A Rolls Royce?
- Getting married to the man of your dreams?
- A dream vacation?
- Great kids?

Here's the thing - you CAN and you WILL get what you want, if you want it bad enough.

You Get What You Fear!This is true too.
Sometimes, without realizing it, we worry too much. We are bogged down by too much fear.
We constantly fear that
- we will have no money
- we will die alone
- our loved ones will forget us
- our car will get stolen
- someone will knock us from behind, while stuck in traffic
- we'll get robbed

Guess what? We get exactly what we fear about too!
WHY? Because, when we fear something, we tend to think about it SO very much.

The Butterfly Effect
Here's a good example.
My youngest sister is terrified of moths, butterflies (and well, basically any creature that flies!). The amazing thing is, that when all 6 of us go out for dinner, and there is a moth, it naturally gravitates towards her! It's true! The same thing happens to my other sister and her experiences with cockroaches, and mine with spiders.

I'm sure that you've experienced this before, or know of someone who has. What you think about most, you attract.

The Power Of ThoughtNow that you know this, what are you going to do about it?
STOP from letting your fears and negative thoughts rule your life anymore.
START taking charge of your life, by changing your thoughts.

Here are some ways you can use to start living the life you desire and deserve:

1. Get a Notebook. Not the electronic kind, the normal ones we can actually write on with a pen! This is your book. You can call it what you want - Your Goals Book, Life Journal, Guide to a Better You, Daily Musings -anything. Decorate the book if you wish, as it will stay with you for awhile.

2. Write your Dream List - Write down 30 things you wish to have in your life, right now. Think of 30 things that will make you really happy if you have it right now. It can be anything, from material possessions, monetary goals, family ideas, anything. Write down 30. If you find that you have more than 30, go crazy! Write them all, but we will prioritize on these 30 first.

3. Be as detailed as you can - Make your Dream List as detailed as possible. For example, if you want to get married to your dream man within the year, then write down what kind of a man you want - smart, holds a PhD, can make me laugh, loves to cook. Here's something you MUST remember, though - never, never, never put anything negative in your book - you can't even sound negative. For example, instead of wishing for your dream man to be "not a bad dancer", you should wish for "a great dancer". Or instead of wishing for "my boss to not fire me", wish for "a fantastic job, in a perfect workplace, with a great boss". Eliminate the "not", "can't", "won't", "maybe". Replace these with positive words

4. Write in the present tense. This can be tough, but make sure that all your items in your Dream List is in the present - that means, write like you already have it. So, instead of writing "I wish I can take one month off work to vacation in Bali", write "I am in beautiful Bali for a month, sitting by the beach, eating an ice cream, watching the sunrise". Why? Because research has proven that if your mind believes that you have experienced this before, it will try to achieve it again. It's mental conditioning.

5. Make it Real - If possible, find pictures/ photos of the 30 items in your Dream List, and paste it in your book - it makes it real. For example, if it's a Ferrari you want, then find a picture of a Ferrari, of the colour you want, maybe from a magazine, and paste it on the book. Then, paste a photo of you standing by the Ferrari. When your mind sees this often enough, it will believe that this is real. Or, go by a Ferrari showroom or car dealer, and test drive one. You will never forget that experience!

6. Daily Affirmation - Now that your Dream List is complete, look at it everyday. Repetition is the key to getting what you want. Look at them everyday, feel like you're already living it, and go on with your day. Don't do it as a chore - be happy doing it.

7. Daily Practise - Now, we have to practise living our dream everyday. Start by being happy at life. Just be happy. If something makes you unhappy, find something else that would channel all that unhappiness into happiness. For example, you're driving, the traffic is bad. You are starting to feel angry, and you find yourself thinking these thoughts "Why couldn't I have woke up 30 minutes earlier?" or "Why are the roads so congested - did everyone decide to go to work today?" or "Man! Look at that guy with that attitude! I wish he gets caught!". When you find yourself thinking these or more negative thoughts, STOP. Do something that makes you happy - turn on the radio, put on a song you like, start singing something to pick your mood up, think of your pet at home, maybe call someone you love (please use the handsfree kit!). You can change your mood, because you are in charge of your life, your moods, your emotions, your days. YOU are responsible for making yourself happy. Also, always be grateful for what you have
- Stuck in traffic? Be grateful you're in the car
- Your heels broke? Be grateful you have some money to get a new pair
- The food at the restaurant was horrible? Be grateful that you had a good time with your friends there.
- Your mum is always at your throat? Be grateful you have a mum who cares enough to argue for your benefit.
There is always something we can be grateful for.

So, try this, and see how they will change your life.


Hope these 7 Rules can serve as a guidance to a better life.
Good luck!
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Sharmila is the Director of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre.
The opinions expressed here represent that of her opinion, based on her personal experiences.
For more information, please contact her at sharm79@gmail.com.

7 Surefire Rules to be a Better YOU - Part 6 of 7

Rule 6 - Notice the Power of ONE
"I am personally convinced that one person can be a change catalyst, a "transformer" in any situation, any organization"
Stephen Covey

Whether we realize it or not, the power of ONE is extremely evident, and it exists all around us. Sometimes, it takes only ONE moment, or person, or sentence, or event, or thought for something to happen - good or bad. More often than not, the creation of that ONE may have taken years of effort, money, time and contribution from many parties - but in the end, it is the ONE that people remember, that had carved its name comfortably in the history books, that had made a lasting impact.
The ONE bomb blastOn the 6th of August 1945, the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, a city in Japan. We all know the story and the impact of the attack - 60 000 buildings were destroyed, 70 000 people died instantly, and 70 000 more people died 5 years after the attack, due to radiation. All that from ONE bomb blast. The atomic bomb was a result of $2 billion worth of research and months of planning, and the impact of it lasts till today.

The ONE rock that dropped the giantIn the Bible (I refer to this story though I am not a Christian, as I truly believe that there are essential lessons which can be learnt from all faiths), the story of David and Goliath is a popular one. Goliath was a 9' tall giant with full armour, that everyone was terrified of. David, who was in his teens, and was barely armed with the exception of his sling shot and a bag of rocks, decided to face the giant. Despite the giant's insults and jeerings, and many people's doubt of this little boy's capabilities to fight the giant, David did not budge from his decision. Beyond everybody's belief, David used his slingshot and shot a rock at Goliath, hitting him on his eye, leading to his fall and eventual death. It was the ONE rock, from the ONE boy that dropped him.

The ONE hour that Earth blacked outIn 2007, for ONE hour, 2.2 million residents of Sydney participated in the Earth Hour a combined effort by WWF and the Sydney Morning Herald to create awareness towards the need to take action on the issue of climate change. That ONE hour led to 126 countries participating in the Earth Hour in 2010, where in the United States alone, 90 million people turned off their lights. In the Philippines, 15 million people turned off their lights. The ONE hour that Earth went dark, would have probably saved her years in life. That ONE hour brought all the people on Earth together; though miles apart and continents away, everyone participated for one common good - to save the Earth.

The ONE sentence that changed her lifeMichelle Aguilar was 242 pounds when she joined the Biggest Loser competition. To make matters worse, she joined in with her mother, who when Michelle was 18, called her on the phone to say that she was leaving her dad. Michelle, the eldest in the family felt devastated, especially since her mother decided to take her 2 siblings with her and started a new family, leaving Michelle with her father. Though she did love her dad, Michelle was constantly haunted by the question "Why did she leave me behind?". Throughout the Biggest Loser competition, Michelle was half-hearted because of her emotional baggage that she was carrying around. Trainer Jillian Michaels had trouble trying to get this girl to want to be there, till one day, Jillian confronted Michelle and asked her what was worrying her. Michelle poured her heart out, and the real problem that was bugging her came out - she was actually guilty to be joining the competition with her mom; she felt that she was betraying her father. Jillian made her call her father on the phone and Michelle told her father what was bothering her. To which her father replied that there was nothing she could possibly do to make him less proud of who she is. And he said "You are my inspiration" After lots of tear-shedding, Michelle walked out a different person. To cut a long story short, Michelle went on to lose a total of 110 pounds, and emerged the winner of the Biggest Loser 2008! What changed her? It could have been that ONE person, Jillian Michaels; it could have been that ONE moment, when she spoke to her dad; but I think, it is because of that ONE sentence - what her dad told her.

Sometimes in life, it is that ONE that truly matters - notice that, understand it, and use it to become the best you that you can ever be.

How you can use 'The Power of One' to be Better

1. Be that ONE person to someone. "To the world, you may be just one person; but to one person, you may be the world". How true that is. Sometimes, we aim to achieve so much in life, we end up disappointing those who think they have achieved something already, just by having us in their lives. Sometimes it helps, just to open up our eyes and look harder - the love we are looking for might be right in front of us; the wealth we are so busy digging for might be standing by our side all this time. I'm sure we remember those 'ONE person's in our lives - it could be that ONE teacher that believed in us, or that ONE friend that listened, or that ONE dog which showed us unconditional love. Choose to be 'that ONE person' to someone - it's definitely worth it.

2. Say that ONE sentence to someone in need. In the song Flying Without Wings, Westlife sang "Everybody's looking for that something, One thing that makes it all complete, You'll find it in the strangest places, Places you never knew it could be...You'll find it in the words of others, A simple line can make you laugh or cry" It sort of hits the nail on the head now, doesn't it? I mean, honestly, how many times have we been moved (either in a paralyzing or a crystallizing way) by something someone says? It may have come from someone that mattered in our lives, it may have come from someone who didn't matter in our lives, it may have come from someone we loved or hated, it may have come from someone in our childhood or days as an adult - we all have experienced someone somewhere, saying something at sometime that changed us, at least for that moment. Sometimes, we hear it in songs or in movies, both which had and still have a big impact on my life. One such movie is Mona Lisa Smile, which strengthened my belief in defying convention in education. Set in the 1950s, the movie is about a teacher who fights for her all-girl classroom to understand that there are options, that life is not just another black and white tale. She was resisted by one of her student, Betty, who adamantly believed that being housewives was the role that women were born to fill. In the end, Betty learnt the bitter lesson of life because she chose to allow convention to shadow her wisdom, but her teacher Katherine Watson decided to leave, and Katherine was labeled an 'aimless wanderer' by all at school, to which Betty responded "But not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image". Truth is, we always have a choice of what to say to someone. Listen to your gut, open your eyes and ears and heart - if someone is in need of help, sometimes the best we can do is to listen, and offer that ONE sentence that can help.

3. Do that ONE deed that everyone says is too hard or impossible to do. I have been and am still always trying to live by what Gandhi said "Be the change you would like to see in the world today" - it's like he compressed a whole lot of wisdom and weight into that one sentence! "Be the change". That means, if you see garbage on the floor, you pick it up. If you hear water running without use, you turn it off. If you feel unhappy at work, you do something about it! Why you? Because you know you can! You cannot expect someone else to do it when you tell them to, but you can do it, can't you? That's something you can control. Whether or not we are going to achieve world peace, get rid of poverty, stop fighting over riches (or over colour and creed and race and religion...or over anything at all, for that matter), combat global warming, save the animals or use up all of earth's natural resources - we have a choice. We, yes, you and I, can make a difference. Start making a difference before expecting others to - lead by example, and bask in the glory of knowing that you did something right.

The Power of YOU

So, remember, you're never too incapable to make a difference - if you're moneyless but rich in time, give ONE hour to someone who needs it; if you're a person of words, give ONE sentence of support; if you're blessed with a pair of hands, do ONE good deed, pick up that piece of glass lying on the road to prevent it from hurting others; if you're scared, toughen up and take ONE step towards achieving your goals; if you're a teacher, change the life of ONE student if you can.

Remember, you can if you want to.

ONE woman refused to get off her seat in the bus so racism can be abolished (Rosa Parks)
ONE man went on hunger strikes for weeks for peace (Gandhi)
ONE child asked the right question (The Emperor's New Clothes)

ONE is not a number. It is a statement - so shout it out loud.
I'll leave you with this powerful poem, on the Power of ONE. Good luck in your journey to incorporate this powerful principle in your daily life.

To realize the value of ONE year
Ask a student who has failed the final exam

To realize the value of ONE month
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby

To realize the value of ONE week
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper

To realize the value of ONE day
Ask the labourer who earns a daily income to support his wife and kids

To realize the value of ONE hour
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet

To realize the value of ONE minute
Ask the person who has missed his flight

To realize the value of ONE second
Ask a person who has survived an accident

To realize the value of ONE milisecond
Ask the person who won the Silver medal in the Olympics.

Coming up...Part 7 of the "7 Surefire Rules to be a Better YOU"