The Baseball Theory of Life

Have you ever heard the saying "Life is like a baseball game?" No? Well, neither have I.

But I thought about it once, and it astounded me how much life and living resembled what happens out there on the baseball field.

Well, though, admittedly, I am no expert on the Major or Little Leagues, but thanks to the silver screen, I think I got the basics of the game pretty much figured out.



One day, I shared this analogous theory of mine to my class of students, and I could've sworn I heard the "Click!" go off in their teenage minds, accompanied by the gaped "I Got It!" expressions. Miss those kids...


The Game - In Layman Terms
Baseball is a sport played with bats and balls. The batter (the one with the bat) stands in the centre, surrounded by 4 corners, known as bases, which are 'secured' by 4 players on the other team. The pitcher (the ball-thrower), who is from the other team, will throw the ball (can this get anymore layman??) to the batter. The batter, will, with all his might (and tactics...) hit the ball. The main aim of the batter is to hit the ball as far away as he can, to disable the opponent team from getting to it and reaching the base before they do.

The opponent team's main aim is to get the ball and 'touch' one of the 4 bases on the field - and when this happens, it's "STTTRRRIIKKKEE OOONNEEE" for the batter. 3 strikes, and he's out. Once the batter hits the ball, his aim is to make it to 2nd base and as many bases as he can before the opponent team reaches the base - or he's out. But if he manages to reach the 4th and final base, that's a Home Run.

Phheeww! Believe me, for a girl that doesn't play much sports, that was an accomplishment of magnitude proportions!

So here it is, my Baseball Theory of Life.


The Baseball Theory of Life

1. The Ball Is Coming...What to Do?
A Lesson in Facing Challenges
In baseball, if you are holding the bat, you will be faced with the inevitable event of the ball hurling towards you. In this instance, what do you do? Well, let's identify the options.

(a) You can do the most obvious thing and hit it
(b) You can duck or run away so the ball won't hit you
(c) You can do absolutely nothing, knowing well the ball will hit you
(d) You can catch the ball and throw it back

Life is very much the same.

In life, we are faced with an insurmountable amount of challenges - this is almost always certain. Challenges must come because we are alive.

Did you know that the word 'life' originated from the Proto-Indo-European word 'lip', which means 'to remain, persevere and continue'? So you see, being alive is more than just being alive - we have to work at it. It's more of a verb, an action rather than a noun, really, if you think about it. So to persevere at life is to keep at it - keep at what? Keep facing everyday in the face so we can still be alive the next day.

One of my favourite authors and self help gurus, Tony Robbins once said, that in life, we are either climbing or sliding. If we strive to improve our lives, we become better (climbing); or if we choose not to do anything to improve, we actually become worse (sliding). So basically, this means, that even if you were to remain in status quo, some work needs to be done. Interesting observation, wouldn't you say?

So in life, challenges are inevitable..but it's not so much what happens that determine what kind of a person we are - it's how we react to what happens that shapes us.

If you look at it from the baseball point of view, you'll see that the options we have when the ball is approaching us are similar to the options we have in life.

Ask yourself - how do you react to challenges around you?

(a) Do you face it head on?
(b) Do you run away so the challenge won't be able to find or hurt you?
(c) Do you do absolutely nothing, knowing well that you will be hit hard by the challenge?
(d) Do you get mad and fight back or retaliate?

What would YOU do?

2. Do you have what it takes to Hit and Run?
A Lesson in Trust and Risk TakingHere, we are looking at the element of trust.

We humans are rather complicated. More often than not, we want to know why we need to do things that are asked of us, before we decide whether or not we want to do it. And often, we want to wait and see the consequence of our actions before moving on.

Now here's a question - if there is a system in place, and you are but one element of this system, and you have your very own role to play, as in all the other elements in the system...can you just play your role without wondering what the consequence or outcome is? Can you trust that if you do your part, that the other elements and the system will follow through?

There is an interesting story in Greek mythology, which backs this up.

Orpheus, was a great musician - and he married Eurydice. Life together was filled with bliss, until one day, Eurydice died of a snake bite. In Greek mythology, it is believed that those who pass on go to the Underworld, ruled by Hades. So, finding himself unable to bear the painful loss of his beloved wife, Orpheus decided to travel to the Underworld himself, to get her back.

The grim Hades, the God of the Underworld was enthralled by the musical charms of Orpheus, that he granted him his wish of having his wife Eurydice back with him in the real world. BUT, Hades' boon came with one condition. Hades said he will send Eurydice with Orpheus, but when Orpheus walks out of the Underworld, he was asked not to ever look back to see if Eurydice is following him. So basically, Hades asked Orpheus to trust him.

Young Orpheus, filled with excitement and anxiety, knowing that it will only be moments before he'd be able to have his wife back, started to walk confidently out of the caves. He walked, and he walked for what may have seemed like days! And then, he saw the mouth of the cave. Just as he was approaching the cave opening, he started questioning Hades' promise.

Is Eurydice really behind me?
Can I trust Hades?
What if I walk all the way, only to know that Hades has cheated me?
Oh no..I can't even hear her behind me...am I fooled?
And with each step he took, his doubts started to become more unbearable. His mind was in a mess because of uncertainty. And he made the biggest mistake in his life.
HE LOOKED BACK!

And as he did, he saw his wife, who was in fact, just behind him, being pulled away back to the Underworld.

I remember first reading this story, and feeling immense sadness and guilt! I mean, can you even imagine being in Orpheus' shoes?

The lesson here is TRUST.
How many of us trust things that are going on around us?

In baseball, the term hit and run is used when there is a player on the 2nd base, waiting to run to the 3rd base when the batter hits the ball. Here's what happens: when the batter hits the ball, he runs to the 2nd base, the player currently on the 2nd base will run to the 3rd, the player on 3rd will run onto the 4th and final base, and the team wins a Homerun.

Here's the trick. The player on 2nd base will start running just seconds before the batter hits the ball, so he gains advantage of time. Now, if the batter is good, he will be able to hit the ball far enough so the opponents would not be able to get to it before they reach their respective bases. BUT, what can happen, is that the batter does not hit the ball hard enough. In this case, the player on the 2nd base would have started running. So he would neither be on 2nd nor 3rd base when the ball is hit. If the opponent gets to the ball before he reached 3rd base, he's out.

So if you understand the game, you will see that the player on the 2nd base runs without even waiting to see how successful the batter was at hitting the ball. He just takes the risk and starts to run! What is this, if not TRUST in its finest form? And this is not easy to do, because you'd know that there is a possibility that you might be out.

What would you do if you're on 2nd base?
Would you run slower, so if in case the batter failed to do his job well, you could run back to the safety of the 2nd base?
Or would you trust the batter with all your life, decide to take the risk and start running the fastest you possibly can to get to the 3rd base?

We all know that sometimes, a choice must be made - you either run slow, or run fast. Because staying on the fence without a decision is the worst choice yet!

Can you trust the system (the game) enough to be able to just play your role without seeing the outcome of it? Do you believe that you are, in fact a part of a bigger picture, without sometimes being able to see the bigger picture?

Ask yourself these questions:
1. When working for an organization, and you realize that your days are filled with repetition, where you basically do the same thing over and over again - you write recruitment letters everyday; you sell the same product everyday; you work on the same programme everyday; you teach students everyday - do you trust that you are an important part of a bigger picture, or that your work is so mundane, it's unimportant?

2. If someone comes up to you and says "Paint this picture" but all you see is a small scrap of paper that means nothing, but he says that 1000 other people are painting little scraps that will later be joined into a big picture that does make sense, would you do it? Would you do it if it took 3 days to complete? 5 days? A week? A year? Would you do it, trustingly?

3. When you are planning a trip with your family, do you organize everything yourself because you simply cannot afford to trust others, in case they make a mistake and forget to do certain things that might ruin the vacation?

4. If you are running the 4 X 100m event, would you trust that once you have passed the baton to your team mate, that she will be able to reach the finish line as fast as you might have?
Do you trust that everything will be ok even if you don't put your hands in everything?
Do you trust your team mates enough to delegate tasks to them?
Do you trust your teacher enough to know that he'll lead you to success?
Do you trust your boss enough when he says that the risk he took or a tough decision he made was going to benefit the organization and you in the long run?
The thing is, sometimes, we are required to trust whole-heartedly. And sometimes, this lack of trust can lead to our downfall, especially when we are working in a system as a part of one whole.


Conclusion
So what do you think? Life is very much like a baseball game isn't it?
It's amazing what and how much we can learn from unorthodox methods.
Remember that learning is not only something you do in the classroom of your school. The whole world is a classroom. And everything and everyone around you can serve as teachers, if you'd only open up your mind enough to want to learn.

Learn what people say, from books, from TV shows, from conferences, from a walk in the park, from shopping, from dining and of course, from games and sports like baseball.

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. The opinions expressed here are of her own, based on her personal experience. PELL is an organization that strives on the concept of learning that is unconventional. The author welcomes comments at sharm79@gmail.com

7 Books That Will Change Your Life Today

My Special Relationship...
I find myself constantly journeying on a never-ending quest to find my success and wealth - and as I am a self-proclaimed 'Reader of the Year', I gratifyingly do so by flicking and losing myself between the magical pages of books.

Yeap, though some people clearly steer away from the Self-Help section in bookstores, afraid of what 'people' might think of them, I happily gravitate there all the time. I think a big part of the reason why is because I have always, since I was a child, believed that I would be able to contribute more - to my family and the world - if I can improve myself first - and I still stand strong by this prophecy till this very day.

The 7 Titles That Are Transforming Me

Here are 7 titles of books that are helping me find my way to my success. I am sharing this here in hopes that they can help you too.

1- The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

It's funny how I was first introduced to The Secret. I was training the CEO of a company, and she (lucky for me!) took it upon herself to give me some pointers for success.

"Have you watched The Secret?" she once asked me.

"No, I don't believe I have," I replied, at the expense of sounding totally daft. She looked at me like I was from another world!

"You haven't watched The Secret??" I swear I heard her voice rise a little. "Well, I think you should!"

And that's exactly what I did. I headed to Kinokuniya, KLCC as fast as my feet (and the LRT) could take me there, walked on to the Self-Help section (which was, by then, my second home!)and lo and behold, there was an entire case on The Secret. How come I didn't realize that ever being there before?

Without thinking twice, I grabbed The Secret DVD, paid almost RM 200 for it, and went straight home (skipping my usual routine of getting one of those yummilicious Bisou cup cakes...sinful!). I put on the DVD, and excuse me if what I'm about to say is going to sound cliched - but

that experience must have been one of the most life-transforming ones in my life. It's true! I was introduced to the Law of Attraction.

As I don't intend to spoil the fun for readers who have yet to watch the show, I'll make this short - the Law of Attraction basically says, that you attract what you think of and feel. You're sad, you'll attract more sadness; you're angry, you'll attract more angry people in your life; and of course, if you're happy, you'll attract more things that make you happy. At one glance, it's easy to realize that all of us, at some point, have practised this Law before, and not realized it.

This DVD led me to want to know more about how to attract success, leading me to look for and find all the other 6 books listed here.

2- The Science of Getting Rich, Wallace Wattles

This is the book that inspired Rhonda Byrne to create The Secret, so after discovering that fact, I just had to read it. Albeit, the writing style of the author was not really my cup of tea, but what he said had a phenomenal effect on me.

Wattles basically mirrored everything that Byrnes captured (or rather, it was the other way round), but he did it with more depth.

"The race (of man) as a whole is always abundantly rich, and if the individuals are poor, it is because they do not follow a Certain Way of doing things which makes the individual man rich"

That profound excerpt is the idea that Wattles was trying to sell in his book.
In other words, the author was prophesizing that if we're poor, we did it to ourselves. A little "in your face" but it hit me like a tonne of bricks how true it was.

3- You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor
Bob Proctor was featured on The Secret DVD, and he too, is a firm believer, practitioner and trainer in the Law of Attraction. Frankly, I had not heard of Proctor till then, but there was something about him - the conviction in his voice, the belief in his expressions, the surety of his nonverbal intelligence that made me want to know more about him and his work.

A visit to his website one day led me to this book. And as expected, what he said again, captured my fullest attention.

"Consider this - money will have a greater influence on your life than almost any other commodity you can think of. Indeed, the sudden loss or acquisition of money will affect your attitude to a tremendous extent. Therefore, you must agree that everyone should have a deep understanding of exactly what money is, and of the laws governing its attraction. Yet, the sad fact is, that not one person in ten does. Ninety-five people out of a hundred settle for whatever they get, wishing they had more all the way from the cradle to the casket, never understanding that they could actually have had all they wanted"

It doesn't take a genius to know how true his statement is. How we all go about life wanting more. How we get what we get, by looking forward to Fridays and dreading Sundays as it reminds us how we must get back to slugging at our jobs. Is this what we were created to do? Is this how we were meant to live?

This book made me question my direction and action plan of life. It made me analyze what was important, and realize what I would need to do get there. I am not there just as yet, but it has helped me realize that I need to be.

4- Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill

Bob Proctor too, had a mentor, and for him, that life changing moment in his life happened when he read this book by Hill. Proctor was leading a life of below-mediocrity and was poverty-stricken - and this book gave him a way out.

Hill was inspiring in his own lengthy-style-of-writing kind of way. His book is filled with tales and success stories of those who made it even though it seemed unlikely, and also of those who lost their chance of success by practising negative habits - like quitting too soon.

"When riches begin to come so quickly, in such great abundance, that one wonders where they have been hiding during all those lean years"

I actually smiled to myself after reading that sentence - "those lean years" is said. I wondered secretly, if I will be fortunate enough to one day, look back at "those lean years" and laugh, as it is all behind me. Maybe as I am being driven about in my black Rolls Royce Phantom, to look back at the lean years and bask in the happiness that those lean years are no more.

5- The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield
I love reading anything Canfield. It's straight to the point, written in simple English, and gets the message through. Canfield was also featured on The Secret, and he was on my list of people to know more about. I read so much about him and his work, as I did Proctor, and found this book. Reading a few pages of the book on Amazon led me to now be a proud owner of it. Retailed at RM 69.90, I would say that this book is a must-have manual to life.

Canfield highlights 25 life transforming principles, and the 1st one resonated very deeply within me.

"Take 100% Responsibility For Your Life", the first Chapter screamed out. And reading that led to a whole new self discovery experience for me. I finished this chapter in minutes, but have re-read it so many times, as I want it to be engraved in every fibre of my being - that I am responsible for my life. No more playing the Blame Game. No more sitting back and attending the Pity Party. Just buck up and take responsibility.

"One of the most pervasive myths in the American culture today is that we are entitled to a great life - that somehow, somewhere, someone (certainly not us) is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness, exciting career options, nurturing family time and blissful personal relationships simply because we exist"

The reality of what Canfield stated in the first sentence of his book did take time to sink in, and is still in the process of. As I mentioned, this book (to me, at least), serves as a good manual to life. I have often wondered why, when we are born into the same world, we are so different - it is not the colour and creed, nor is it the race and religion - it is more so how we were brought up, what we were exposed to at what age, what we learnt, how we failed and how we bounced back. I have always wondered how much our lives would change if we were handed a manual on how to live the best life ever - and this book is my answer.

Well, for those of you out there who find themselves being lost in the humdrum of daily life, feeling like you're just performing meaningless routines, chancing about life - then you should give this book a try.

6-Awaken The Giant Within, by Anthony Robbins

To be frank, I was introduced to this book during my student days at the university. I was looking for answers, and it came to me through this amazing book. Robbins was the big hype back then - everyone knew who he was. I bought his book, and never got to the end of it. But I remember that it was an eye-opener.

Now, in my search for greatness, I chanced upon his 90-minute audio programme of the same name. And boy, it was just the kind of refresher that I needed! Robbins is a load of energy bundled up in his 6 foot frame of a body. He had a throat ailment that makes him sound the way he does today, but I think it served him well.

Robbins preaches about the importance of Decisions in our lives. How we must decide who we are in this life, decide what we want, decide what things mean to us and decide what we are going to do about them. He never literally mentions the Law of Attraction, but in the end, it's funny how all these successful people think alike. They must be doing something right!

7- The Strangest Secret, by Earl Nightingale

We begin the list with a 'secret' and end it with another 'secret'.
This book is actually based on a message which was played for a group of salespeople at Nightingale's insurance agency. But what was meant to help insurance salespeople succeed, ended up becoming one of the most inspiring success literature for the world.

"Have you ever wondered why so many people work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular, and why others don't seem to work hard, yet seem to get everything? They seem to have the "magic touch"...The difference is goals. People with goals succeed because they know where they're going. It's that simple. Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances...by things that happen to them...by exterior forces"

The funny thing about 'goals' is, that we all know we're supposed to have them, but really, how many of us do? How many of us actually have a list of written goals of what we want to achieve in life? How many of us read those goals daily? How many of us know what exactly we've achieved in life and how far we still have to go?

My uncle was admitted to the hospital recently, and when we went to visit him, he asked my sister, who is working in the same field as he is, what her goals were. "Have you reached your milestones?" he asked. The next day, my sister told me that she realized something very important from our uncle's question...setting milestones. See, it is not that we don't know it, it is that for some reason, we don't do it - maybe it's fear, maybe it's lack of confidence - but this book helps a great deal in helping readers understand the importance of goals.


In a nutshell...
We all need help - this is the inevitable truth.
We need help to set our life straight and to be living the life we truly deserve, not one that is mediocre, where we weave in and out of seconds, minutes and days, feeling incomplete, worthless and directionless.

We need to have goals, self confidence;
We need to eliminate our fears, our doubts;
We need to transform our uncertainties into clear paths;
We need to take responsibility and decide;
We need to believe that we are worth much, much more that we think we are;
We need to know that all the wealth, success and happiness in the world is ours if we'd only ask.

I hope these books help you as they have me, to start living with direction, hope and structure.

I wish you ultimate success.

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. All the opinions expressed here are her own, based on her personal experiences. She welcomes comments at sharm79@gmail.com

It's All In The Name

Branding and Names

In marketing, we learn the importance of branding. Branding basically means how you position your product or service which will influence the way your potential buyers will perceive the what you sell them.

A lot of branding lies in choosing the right name for your product, service or company. However, it is quite amazing how many of the major companies around the world are named.


How important is a name to you, the consumer?
- Will you buy Post-It notes from the Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing Company? What does a mining company know about stationery?

- Or a cup of cold root beer from Roy Allen and Frank Wright?

- Or a luxury sedan from a dude called August Horch?

- Would you trust Adrian Dalsey, Larry Hillblom and Robert Lynn to ensure that your important package gets delivered speedily and safely?


It's All In The Name!

Let's have a look at how some famous companies and products got their names - some may intrigue you, some may inspire, some are nonchalant and yet others might shock you!
Enjoy the read:

1- Accenture comes from the combination of the words "Accent on the Future" - very classy!

2- Adobe Systems got its name from the Adobe Creek that ran behind the house of the founder. That is going to be one popular creek!

3- Alta Vista is basically Spanish for 'high view'. Too high they lost sight of the competition?

4- Apple - Apple may have gotten its name from many sources. It could have been that apples are Steve Jobs favourite food; or it could have been that the name reminded him of the time he used to work in an apple orchard. I know, sounds like a total hoax! Some say, he loved the Beatles, and their recording label was Apple Records...it remains a mystery!

5- Carrefour means crossroads in French. Yeap, just like the crossroads we have to deal with everytime we shop, thinking of which hypermarket offers the cheapest prices!

6- Coca Cola got its famous name from the coca leaves and kola nuts used as ingredients. See, being a true blue fan, I'm disappointed I didn't know that!

7- Daewoo means 'Great Universe' in Korean

8- Danone is named after the founder's first son, DAN-ONE. Kinda like how my mum creates her e-mail passwords! Whoops!

9- eBay was a funny story. Its owner had his own consulting company named Echo Bay Technology Group. He wanted to create the website echobay.com, but as it was already taken, he went for the next best thing - eBay! I mean, seriously, thank God! eBay is easier on the tongue!

10- Haagen-Dasz does not have a meaning? No way! Way!! It was invented to create an aura of old traditions and craftmanship. So this meaningless name has become one of the most meaningful comfort food ever...interesting!

11- Harpo is Oprah spelt backwards. Heck, she can spell her name backwards, frontwards, or sideways, she'd still be a legend!

12- Hitachi means the sunrise...how very sweet - inappropriate, but sweet nevertheless.

13- Hotmail got its name because its owners and creator wanted to have the term HTML in its name - see how the greatest minds think simple?

14- Hyundai represents 'modernity'

15- Kia Motors translates to the Rising from Asia

16- Lego is the combination of the Danish words 'leg godt' meaning to play well. Well played!

17- Nike was named after the Greek Goddess of Victory...wow!

18- Pepsi is named after the enzyme 'pepsin'. Oops, losing me with all the scientific jargon!

19- Reebok comes from the African antelope, rhebok - bulls eye!

20- Samsung means 3 stars in Korean - not very ambitious now, are we?

21- Sharp, named after the company's first product ever, a sharp pencil. Oookay then, I guess it's good that they decided to venture into bigger and better (and money making!) stuff!

22- Shell comes from the fact that the establishing company used to import sea shells from Japan before they went on to their little oil project.

23 - Six Apart was named after the fact that its owners were born 6 days apart!

24- Virgin got its name when Richard Branson (Sir) received comments from a few girls on what to name his company - "Call it Virgin" they said, "as we are such virgins at running a business"..and ta-da the birth of the billion-dollar name!

25- Volvo means 'I roll' or 'I turn'. I roll? Sounds totally '80s! Totally!
26- Yahoo! got its name from the term yahoo (duh!) which was coined by the author in his book Gulliver's Travels. The term means a person who is repulsive in appearance and barely human. The founders thought of themselves as yahoos, hence the name.

...and in case you were wondering,Dell, Honda, Ferrarri, Colgate, The Walt Disney Company, Kawasaki, Schick, Chevrolet, Maggi, Casio, Mars, Taco Bell, Chrysler, Bosche and McDonalds, are all named after their founders.

Revisiting Branding Lesson 101
So, that makes me wonder, really, is it that important, that we give our companies the most unique, creative and extraordinary names we can possibly come up with? Can't we just pluck a name from the air? Or probably just take a part of our name and make it into that of a company's? Does the name really determine whether we succeed or not? Time to revisit my MBA lesson on Branding 101...

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. All the opinions expressed here are of her own, based on her personal experience. She welcomes feedback at sharm79@gmail.com

7 Tips To Improve Your Business E-mail Writing Skills Today

"Aarrrggghhh!!" is what most people say, think and feel when it comes to writing - especially business writing. Most of us (I definitely do not refer to those avid journal writers who would die if they couldn't pen in their Dear Diary for a day), cringe, wince and whine at the mere thought of having to draft a letter, formal e-mail, proposal, or worse...(worse for me, anyway) the minutes of a meeting. Yes, we dread those days, but unfortunately, if they pay our salaries to write, then write we must...and with all the technology we're surrounded in today, e-mail seems to be the most favoured formal communication method.

7 Tips to Improve Your Business E-mail Writing Skills Today

1- Begin with the key point
Before starting to pen down your thoughts, always remember this. Imagine that you're in deep slumber at 3.00am and you are (rudely) interrupted by a phone call. How would you feel if the call is a prank call, with no substance. You'd get really mad, and probably slam the phone even before you've heard why the caller has called. Writing is very similar. Everytime you write an e-mail to someone, remember to appreciate the value of the recipient's time, and get straight to the point.

2- End with class
On the other hand, you wouldn't want to end your e-mail in a rush. It will make you seem unprofessional, and like you are someone who just could not care less. When writing an ending to an e-mail, always remember this tip. Imagine that you're giving someone some bad news. You could go outright and just say it, "Ali, your grandma is dead" (bear in mind that this might kill Ali too!) OR, you could ease into it, "Ali, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. I just heard that your grandmother has passed on. Please let me know how I can help". See, that sounded much better. More often than not, even in life, the message remains the same - the trick lies in how we deliver it. So when ending an e-mail, do it in style.
- Offer your assistance
- Provide a number you can be contacted at
- Offer to provide the recipient with more information

3- Cut the short forms, tq!
When writing informal e-mails to friends or when chilling out at the chatroom, short forms are allowed - in fact, they are encouraged. In fact, if you don't use them, you're just not cool enough! Well Newsflash, Mussolini, short forms should be reserved for informal emails only. I actually had a lecturer once tell our class that she would immediately delete any emails written to her with short forms (bad grammar and spelling too, but you get the point.) Examples of short forms that we usually use in SMSes, and probably out of the force of habit, may accidentally insert into our formal e-mails are:
- Pls (Please)
- Thru (Through)
- Wif (With)
- Other contractions (can't, won't, mustn't, she's) - write them out in full (cannot, will not, must not, she is)

4- Emoticons, NOT! :(
We have to admit - emoticons make us sound human in that otherwise cold SMS or chatroom. It gives us character and personality and adds that much needed spice in every conversation. So here's the thing - emoticons are a big NO-NO in the world of formal business writing. I mean seriously, imagine reading a job resume filled with emoticons. If you find that preposterously annoying and unacceptable, then imagine how the recipient of your email feels when he/she sees all these emoticons 'adorning' your email. You have to be able to manipulate words to make them sound happy or sad or angry or demanding.

Instead of this:
"See you tomorrow :)"

Try this:
"I really look forward to our meet tomorrow"


5- Good writing is like a vacation - too short and it is not enough, too long and it gets boring!
It's absolutely true! In business writing, long emails are considered unnecessary and a waste of time. Emails which are too short are mistaken as less important. So, it should be just right. I'm sure you've heard of the KISS concept (Keep It Short and Simple). Make sure that your emails are to the point, in that it must deliver the message clearly, but do it in a concise manner.

6- Don't put it all out there
When we speak, it is imperative that we put the right emotions in the right places. Pausing for effect, speaking faster if you receive the non-verbal signal that the person you are speaking to is in a hurry, ditch the topic if you see the person in front of you starting to become uncomfortable. However, we do not have the privilege of sight when writing to others, so we use the common principle - Practise Professionalism. Keep your sentences short, and try to eliminate words, phrases and sentences that might sound too emotional.

For example, look at this paragraph:
"I am so terribly sorry about the mistake I made in the letter. As you know, I am not well, and that may have reflected in my writing. You know that I am very professional in my work, and I hope you know that I will not let this happen again"

How did that sound?
It would sound perfect if you are saying this to someone standing in front of you, but remember, you do not have that privilege. In this instance, it would be much better and personal to just pick up the phone and say all you want to say instead of writing such a long piece - plus, it sounds rather unprofessional to be laying all your emotions on the table.

Read this instead:
"My sincere apologies for overlooking the error in the letter. Please find attached the amended version"

What did you think of that? Short, to the point and classy. Aim for that effect.
A good tip is to re-read your email, and ask yourself these questions if you're unsure if a particular word, phrase or sentence is required:
1- Is this necessary?
2. If I eliminate this word/phrase/sentence, would my message be affected?

If you answered NO to both, then you know what to do.

7- Practise the KERR system everytime you writeKey points - In the first paragraph, head straight to the point.
Elaborate - In the second paragraph, elaborate more on your first point.
Recommendation - In the third paragraph, recommend an action that the recipient can take.
Request for action - In the fourth and final paragraph, let the recipient know what you expect from him/her

Let's say you wish to send an email to the Human Resources Manager of a Company, requesting for a status update of your job application.

Your email can sound like this:

Dear Ms White,

I am writing to find out about the status of my job application dated 12 February 2011. (K)

I applied for the position of a Sales Executive, and have yet to hear from you. (E)

Should you require more documentation from me, or if you wish to see me, I am contactable at this e-mail address or at 0121234123. (R1)

I would appreciate if you could update me on the status of my application by the end of the day. (R2)

Thank you

Writing is not as difficult as we think it is.
Remembering and putting these 7 tips into practice should help.

Good luck!

If you wish to improve in your Business Writing Skills, give us a call at 03 2149 9382 or drop us an email at courses@pell.com.my and ask us about our Business Writing Solutions. Alternatively, you can read more at our website http://www.pell.com.my/Business-Writing-Skills.php

What We Can Learn About Leadership from Mona Lisa Smile

I wouldn't categorize myself as a 'die-hard' fan of Julia Roberts, but every so often, we chance upon an actor or actress that just shine in their role. They do not try to hard to play the part, but somehow, their acting simply resonates with your inner being. You start feeling like you're in their shoes, and you start rooting for them. For me, these talented individuals include Gerard Butler in 300, Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, Meryl Streep in Julie and Julia...and Julia Roberts. I think Julia Roberts' movies are life-transforming - Erin Brockovich was inspiring; Eat, Pray, Love was refreshing; and Mona Lisa Smile was what made me want to break the norms of conventional education and teach my students that being different is something good.

About Mona Lisa Smile
This movie depicts a story about tradition, values and one’s own principles. Set in 1953, this movie revolved around Katherine Watson, an art lecturer who was hired into Wellesley College, an all-girls college which values tradition and beliefs. Katherine was very anxious for her first day in class, and her students didn’t make it any easier when they had come to class, with full knowledge of what is taught, as they had memorized the entire textbook.

Katherine thought this very unusual, and she felt intimidated by her students – the students were as such because they were conditioned by their families and college traditions to act the way they did in the classroom. Katherine came back to class the other day, with art that students had not seen before. This act surprised the students very much, as they were not used to a new challenges, and as this was not the norm.

Katherine moved on, treating her students with respect and friendliness, trying to pull them away from the norm of the concept that women’s priorities are to be a good mother and wife. She strived to teach the students that there is more to life than meets the eye, or than what they were supposed to believe about themselves. Katherine also had to fight the college’s age old traditions with her principles and beliefs, by having to go against her colleagues, the principal and the board of directors.

Leadership and the Symbolic Frame
When this movie is looked at from the Symbolic Frame point of view, the question which can be asked, is that of whether Wellesley College was looked at as a theatre or a temple?
Katherine Watson had a very controversial student in her class named Betty Warren. Betty was also influential as her mother is in the College Board of Directors. It was obvious that Betty showed no inhibition to display her power many a times. In one instance, Katherine Watson was teaching a class, and in barges Betty Warren with all her pomp and glitz, making an impressionable entrance back to school after recently tying the knot. The conversation was as follows:

Betty Warren – “Don't disregard our traditions just because you're subversive”
College as a Temple - Here, Betty is reminding her lecturer that college traditions should be respected, and not simply gone against as pleased. Betty got married, and that is an important element in a lady’s life – becoming a good mother and wife – and she expects Katherine to respect that
Katherine Watson : “Don't disrespect this class just because you're married”College as a Theatre- To which, Katherine responded as above. Katherine sees the college as a theatre, where she is playing the role of a lecturer, and Betty and the other students, playing the role of students. And no matter who Betty was or what she did in her personal life, in Katherine’s class, she should be a student.

Katherine Watson, the Symbolic Leader

Symbolic leaders like Katherine can be identified through their leadership by example, symbols, vision and stories. Katherine always told her students to “Look beyond the paint”. She has always wished to instill in her students that the image created about them by their forefathers are not necessarily true today.

She wanted the students to look beyond the paint to value the art better, to look beyond what they feel they are worth and see what they are truly worth, she wanted them to look beyond the surface of their image, and look for more challenges in life. She did this by encouraging their thought processes and by asking for feedback.. She proved that her action was louder than her words, when she decided to leave Wellesley to seek new challenges, and not to conform to the role the college had about her.
Katherine also often communicated her vision to her students. "I thought I was headed to a place that would turn out tomorrow's leaders, not their wives" she often chided, to remind her students that not only men can be leaders; that as women, they too must understand and embrace their birth right to be leaders. In 1953, an era which saw women as doting mothers, prim wives and proper ladies, the idea of women playing the role of leaders was unorthodox, unheard of and simply wrong.

Katherine did not see anything wrong with that, except for the fact that the college, an institution of education, was more focused on ensuring this tradition is kept alive, instead of educating the students to think and decide for themselves. Katherine spreads and communicates her vision that women can be good mothers and wives, but women can also focus on career at the same time.
Katherine Watson was a symbolic leader in many aspects

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. All the opinions expressed here are of her own, based on her personal experiences. She welcomes comments at sharm79@gmail.com

To MBA or Not To MBA

My Story
So there I was, in the CEO's office of one of the biggest projects in Johor, a tad nervous for this 2nd and final interview session. I was pleased with myself, as I knew I aced the first interview with the Vice President, and quite confident that I would breeze through this one as well. In walked the CEO, larger than life (as CEOs always are) and sat in front of me with barely a smirk on his expressionless face. There was an awkward silence as he browsed through my Resume, one page at a time.

Then he stopped, looked up at me from behind his glasses and asked me a question I never thought I'd ever hear..."Why did you do an MBA?"

Weird question, I thought, but answered with poise and confidence "Because I wanted to know more about business, and that was a fantastic ticket"

"Couldn't you have just read about business from books? Did you need to pay and spend 18 months to learn about business?" If anyone were to ask me that now, I would have a list of plausible answers to choose from. But then, barely fresh out of grad school, I was stunned by his persistence at questioning me about my degree. "Well," I started, "...of course I can read about business from books, but the MBA was a good guide for me"

"Guide to do what?" he pressed on

"Guide to life. Guide to know where to start learning about business. I really don't know what I don't know, so an MBA was a good start" I was relentless too

"So, it says here that you're in the top 5% of the class. Does it make a difference?" he probed further

"I guess it does, it means that I started off determined to do what I wanted to, and succeeded at it" I was losing my cool now, mainly because I was running out of 'smart' answers

And for the next 10 minutes or so, he, and the Vice President, who both graduated with a Masters in Economy, bluntly told me that my 18-month and RM 30,000 MBA was worthless. They were actually laughing so hard, I felt like a little kid being laughed at by her kindergarten mates for wearing socks of a different colour on each feet! I should've just walked out saying something smart like "I don't expect you to understand the value of an MBA, because you don't have one. I do not wish to sit here any longer and be laughed at for the choices I made. I will go to a place where I am valued"

The Question
So, to MBA or not to MBA? I realize that many people are in this predicament. They want to further their studies, but should they consider an MBA? Some say the MBA is losing its value. Some say it's too common, you'd just have to throw a rock and the person it hits has an MBA (wow, really?)

At the expense of sounding biased over my suggestion to do an MBA, I've listed some pros of doing it. But to be fair to the rest of the world, I've also listed the cons. You decide.


To MBA

- The Doorway - Coming from an IT background, the MBA was an eye opener to me about the world. It was a doorway to everything that's happening all around me. I began to look at the world differently - I even started to relate the movies I watched to what I had learnt. What 'adults' were saying started making sense. It had a big part to play in making me the person that I am today.

- The Enabler - Whether or not the theory of what I had learnt in the classes changed me, just being able to sit and listen to the experienced lecturers share what they know about their subject matter, business and the world was a phenomenal experience. The MBA inspired me to think. It encouraged me to want to know more. It motivated me to push myself to break my own limitations. Frankly, the MBA played a big part in enabling and empowering me to want to start up on my own. The ambition, drive, spirit and energy of everyone else in the room were to strong not to notice.

- The 'How Much More Can I Take' Factor - I was working full-time in a highly stressful, time consuming career when I pursued my MBA, and then my husband decided to propose. So I was juggling 3 life transforming things at the same time. It was, in not so many words, havoc! Just to add to the tumultuousness of life at that point of time, I had a thesis to complete. Really, I thought I was going mad. I was at home, but I was never at home! My parents knew I was upstairs somewhere, and rarely saw me. But that was my test. Could I do it? Could I juggle it all?

- Feel good time - Yes! Once it was over (though I was almost pulling out all my hair out of the sheer stress!) it felt goooood! (just imagine Jack Black saying that). I was ecstatic that it was over, and the plethora of knowledge etched into my brains was definitely an added advantage!

- The 3 letters behind your name - Well, I am not a Dr (yet) but I go around proudly parading the M.B.A behind my name on my business cards and training brochures. Does it carry any value? You tell me. Sharmila or Sharmila, M.B.A

- The Network - Oh, yes. I met some of the most interesting people in my MBA class, and they hail from all parts of the world - there's Morad from Morocco, my dear, dear friend. I used to tease him for always bringing in a large cup of black coffee from San Francisco Coffee, knowing well that there's free coffee in class. "It's just not strong enough, Charm" he would say. He says that the pronunciation of my name in French is Charm. Ah, the French...I have no complaints! And then there's Leonard from China. He has a good hand in photography..he took some of the best photos at my wedding! And what's-his-name from Maldives - good guy, but he came in when I was busy slugging it out at my thesis, so he might have known me as the 'Crazy Haired Girl'


Not To MBA

- The Cost - Simply put, an MBA is not cheap. The one I did cost me RM 30,000. There are some cheaper and some more expensive, depending on what you want. I wanted a good institution with good library facilities. Some are online, but to do this, you must be really strong, persistent and disciplined.

- The Time Sacrifice - Once I was done, I looked back at the 18 months and wished I didn't work so hard to get exemplary results. I wished I had spent more time with my family, as just months after, I got married and left to live 300km away! Believe me, I went through my fair share of "I wish" and "If only I...".

- The Sleepless Nights - I slept very little (wait...did I sleep at all??). Black rings and bags around my eyes was nothing new...in fact, I still have my black rings till today! Well, it adds personality, I guess, but be really prepared to do a lot of work...and I mean a lot! I even used to rush from Damansara to Sunway during lunch to meet my supervisor. A lot of dangerously fast driving involved! Hope my mum doesn't read this...

- The Realization - When you're spending all that time in your room by yourself, studying or completing an assignment or doing research or worrying about not being able to complete your assignment, it does things to you. You start thinking and realizing a lot of things. For me, it was the realization that I cannot do everything perfectly. The MBA actually, in its own unique way, introduced me to the value of balance in life...and I am still practising what I have learnt then, today.


The Grey Areas

- Will I be worth more than a non-MBA holder?
Not necessarily. Some companies actually seek for and pay more for an MBA graduate. For others, it really doesn't matter to them whether or not you have an MBA - they pay you just the same. So, be smart and choose who to work for.

- Will I be promoted to a managerial position with an MBA?
Again, it depends. Some companies actually state in black and white that an MBA will help. Some companies pay for your MBA, and then promote you once you're done. While it is obvious that an MBA should carry some weight in your career directions, some companies do not value it or require it for a promotion. Communication with your management is crucial before you make this decision - else, you might get extremely disappointed!

- Will I be guaranteed a job after completing my MBA?
Definitely not. I think I've lived long enough to know that nothing can be guaranteed. In fact, some employers might see you as a threat and others might think you're simply overqualified or too expensive for the position they have.

- Will I be looked at as more valuable that a person who is more street-smart?
Not really, it depends. Some companies and management actually value and reward book-smarts, while other prefer to see the number of years of experience that you have rather than the number of degrees.

Conclusion
Whether an MBA is for you, is your decision. Think well before you decide, and try not to turn back once you have started. It is a huge commitment, yes, but it reaps huge rewards (or as they say in the business world, the ROI makes it all worth the while). It'll take a lot out of you, yes, but it pays. As Tony Robbins preaches in his book Awaking the Giant Within, "Never underestimate the power of a truly committed decision, that is acted upon, no matter what, on a continuous basis".
Doing an MBA changes you - it changes how you perceive the world, how you look at other people and how you see yourself. I wish you luck in making this decision!

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. The opinions expressed here represent her own, based on her personal experiences. She welcomes comments at sharm79@gmail.com

The Entrepreneur's Crib

When I first decided to become an entrepreneur, to step in the shoes of those that made it big by working for themselves like Bill Gates, Donald Trump aka The Donald, Oprah Winfrey, John Assaraf, Jack Canfield and a million others, I thought about everything BUT where to work from.

Well, in all fairness, it did cross my mind, but I shoved it off as a 'nothing serious' matter.

I mean, come on, seriously, there are like thousands of stories about Millionaires that made it big from their basement, or garage, or their dorm room. I am considered one of the luckier ones - I have a house, a pretty comfortable one, with full WiFi capabilities, a home-office equipped with cabinets, a set of really expensive desks and chairs that actually bend 90 degrees backwards for ultimate comfort; and not to mention an air conditioning unit, a stereo system and a large monitor to work with. Oh, and let's not forget the printer, fax machine, scanner and photocopier too. What else could I possibly need?

So that would explain my husband's perplexed face when I told him that I needed 'creative space' to work. But that didn't stop me from driving 20km to the nearest Starbucks and spend RM 18 for a cup of coffee to get some work done. WHY?

For the simple reason that an entrepreneur's workplace (or crib, as MTV would call it) must have that one element that most office spaces lack. Think about it, work spaces that are well-equipped are not necessarily the most productive.

On the other hand, let's take a look at some of the best companies to work for in the world:

1. In 2010, Google was voted as the most attractive company to work in, by 130,000 students. Let's see what magic Google has that most companies don't - they have an on-site hair salon, a gym and swimming pools, ping pong, foosball and billiard tables, free video games, on-site laundry facilities, massage facilities, and more.

2. Plante and Moran ensures that the huge arrangement of flowers in the front lobby is replaced weekly

3. When I worked in Cisco System Malaysia, I truly loved the refrigerators at the main entrance hall - mainly because they were filled with cans of Coke and Iced Lemon Tea

4. I watched a documentary years ago, which highlighted why Nike was such a great company to work for - the employees wear Nike shoes to work!

5. eBay employees are treated to full time fitness trainers and nutritionists...along with their very own meditation centre

What is it that separates these companies from the rest? That one element, the same element that an entrepreneur craves for in his/ her workspace - the element of creativity.

Believe it or not, sometimes being fully equipped is not as important as being empowered by creativity. That's why, some writers have their thinking caps (literally), and put them on (literally) when their out of ideas. That's why you see great companies like Google and Nike providing their employees with world-class comfort - it may cost them at first, but in the end, happy workspaces make happy employees, and happy employees make happy bottomlines.

So if you're an entrepreneur with no place to work, do not underestimate the power of driving over to the nearest Starbucks outlet for a sip of their delectable cuppa and their reliable WiFi facilities - it may lead you to your next breakthrough idea!

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. The opinions expressed here represent that of her own, based on her personal experiences and thoughts. She welcomes comments at her e-mail address, sharm79@gmail.com

Book Review : The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

"The Aladdin Factor" by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

If you find the authors familiar, you should - because unless you've been hiding under a rock (a very big one, I might add!) for all these years, you MUST have heard of Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen...they're the Chicken Soup guys!

I read the Aladdin Factor, expecting to somehow know more about the Law of Attraction - and I got what I was looking for.

This 304-pages thick book basically tells you more about the power of asking for what you want, like what Aladdin was introduced to when he found the magic lamp and the genie. In fact, I would say that there are 2 parts to this book:
One, there is a story about Aladdin, how he found the lamp and discovered that he can in fact get all that he wants, if he only asks. The authors take us through a journey where the Genie educates Aladdin on how to ask for what he wants.
Two, the actual part of the book, which consists of learning from the authors, as well as a compilation of stories (a popular trademark of the authors) from many people, on the power of asking.

Personally, I enjoyed the stories very much - more than the Aladdin part of the book. I was introduced to the Law of Attraction a few months ago, and have since been rummaging the libraries and e-books on all I can possibly find on the topic. This book and the stories in it strengthened my belief in that I can really obtain what I want if I'd only ask.

There are stories about how people have asked others for money, and obtained it. Someone couldn't afford to attend a particular seminar, wrote to the seminar organizer, and managed to get in for free. Someone requested for free air tickets, lodging and meals, and got them. A radio deejay requested for money over the radio, and received cheque-loads of it the very next day! How could these people have done it?
The book teaches us why we need to ask, how to ask, how to discover what is stopping us from asking and how to eliminate them. So, let's ask, ask, ask, ask, ask!
The authors successfully answered many questions about both the concept of asking for what you want AND the Law of Attraction through their stories. They mention that there are 5 limiting reasons why we are not asking for what we want, and believe me, their reasons and supporting stories really resonate with me, and I think many of you out there too :
1- Ignorance - basically, we don't know what we don't know, so we don't ask for what we don't know is out there
2- Limiting Beliefs - our past conditioning (from parents, teachers, friends, community, culture) have taught us that asking is wrong, rude and unbecoming of us. So we grow up thinking and living life, not asking for what we want. The authors even went to say that sometimes, they found themselves wearing a wrong size of pants because they didn't want to be too rude to ask for the right size; or how they don't ask for their cold food to be reheated because they think it's unnecessary to do so.
3- Fear - this is so true (for me, at least)! Here, the authors explain how our fear of many things is so powerful that we end up not asking, and living a life less than what we truly and rightfully deserve. Fear of rejection, embarassment, sounding rude.
4- Self-esteem issues - how we feel that our needs need not be fulfilled. There is a story here, about a nun who almost died of asthma because all her life, she was literally 'trained' not to ask for anything
5- Pride - the need for us to seem right, strong and capable overpowers our better judgment to ask for what we don't know or what we need.

This book is found in the self-help section, but it can be used in all areas of life - how to ask for a hug from a loved one, how to ask for a raise at work, how to ask for anything from anyone.

For people like me, who are in the midst of transforming their lives for the better (or at least actively searching for ways to), this book really helps. It helps us identify what is stopping us from living the life we deserve.

Funny how my confidence levels sky-rocketed from one particular story in the book, and I walked out of the bookstore, feeling like I own the world! There are so many stories in there, and hopefully, at least one will connect with you, as it did me.
The book retails at RM 58.59 at Kinokuniya, KLCC.

Details:Title : The Aladdin Factor
Author (s) : Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen
Price : RM 58.59 (Kinokuniya, KLCC)
Pages : 304
Should you have this book on your bookshelf: YES, YES, YES

7 Surefire Rules to A Better YOU - Part 7 of 7

Rule 7 - Realize that What You Want, You Will Get.

A couple of years ago, I experienced the power of getting what I wanted - though it was not what I would call a pleasant experience. We just bought a new X-Trail, and on one visit to my parents', we parked the car across the house. Now this is where my parents and siblings always park their cars, and there were no issues. However, as my bedroom has the view of this parking space, I constantly flip the curtain open to see if the car is ok. When my dogs bark, even once, I jump on my bed to look at the car. When I hear voices, I'm up again. It's safe to say, that I never was able to get a good night's worth of slumber! Then, an unbelievable thing happened - one night, as I heard the dogs bark and I looked outside, I saw 3 men in black by my car - well, technically, half of their bodies were in my car! At that second, I felt my heart literally stop. I was shocked! I woke my husband up and we ran downstairs. The hustle and bustle woke the entire family up, and we were down within seconds. By then, the thieves had run away, and we were left to see the damage that they caused on the X-Trail - one shattered window, my husband's stolen Ray-Bans, some damage on the dashboard and a lot of broken hearts. They tried to steal the radio, but couldn't - and stole the radio remote control instead (just to show us they were angry, it seemed).

So, lesson learnt. I got exactly what I was looking for. Every night, I slept in fear that my car was going to be broken into, and guess what...it finally was.

Many of you would have heard of the saying "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve" or "Whether you think you can or you cannot, you are right". There are so many of such quotes and sayings, across the centuries, and they all mean the same thing - You Get Exactly What You Want.

Those of you who have watched or read The Secret will know what I'm saying. The concept is a very simple, basic one - You get what you want - but in reality, this is one of the most difficult concepts for man to fathom, accept or live.

People Who Know ThisThere are thousands out there who know this concept, and they practise this

1. Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup series. Canfield was a teacher, making USD 8000 a year. Then, he decided he wanted to make USD 100,000 a year. So he thought about it, felt it in every fibre of his being, visualized it, worked at it when opportunity came his way - and in the end, though a few thousand dollars short of his dream, he ended up with more than USD 90,000! How can that happen?

2. Shahrukh Khan, famed Bollywood actor. Days before Shahrukh was a huge star, he had a dream to marry his girlfriend. A nice, simple dream, except that he was a Muslim, and his girlfriend, a staunch Hindu. They kept the relationship under wraps for 6 years, but Shahrukh simply refused to give up his dream of marrying this girl. It may seem like nothing special, but in India, marrying someone from a different caste or religion can prove fatal! But he persisted, and persisted, and persisted, knowing deep in him that someday, she will be his - and that day came by, and today, Shahrukh is happily married to Gauri, the girl he was relentlessly pursuing.

3. Christina Aguilera, American recording artiste and actress, with a string of awards in her possession. When interviewed, she was asked if she had ever imagined being the success story that she is today, and she answered"It freaks me out when I think about it, but I think I'm a bit psychic and that I predicted my own future for everything has happened exactly how I used to daydream it would." How did she do it?

There are thousands more who know this.

Remember this concept!
If you want something bad enough, you will get it - and it doesn't matter if what you want is something good or bad.
What do you want?
Have you ever taken the time to think of what it is you really want in life? Of what makes you happy?
- A million dollars?
- A Rolls Royce?
- Getting married to the man of your dreams?
- A dream vacation?
- Great kids?

Here's the thing - you CAN and you WILL get what you want, if you want it bad enough.

You Get What You Fear!This is true too.
Sometimes, without realizing it, we worry too much. We are bogged down by too much fear.
We constantly fear that
- we will have no money
- we will die alone
- our loved ones will forget us
- our car will get stolen
- someone will knock us from behind, while stuck in traffic
- we'll get robbed

Guess what? We get exactly what we fear about too!
WHY? Because, when we fear something, we tend to think about it SO very much.

The Butterfly Effect
Here's a good example.
My youngest sister is terrified of moths, butterflies (and well, basically any creature that flies!). The amazing thing is, that when all 6 of us go out for dinner, and there is a moth, it naturally gravitates towards her! It's true! The same thing happens to my other sister and her experiences with cockroaches, and mine with spiders.

I'm sure that you've experienced this before, or know of someone who has. What you think about most, you attract.

The Power Of ThoughtNow that you know this, what are you going to do about it?
STOP from letting your fears and negative thoughts rule your life anymore.
START taking charge of your life, by changing your thoughts.

Here are some ways you can use to start living the life you desire and deserve:

1. Get a Notebook. Not the electronic kind, the normal ones we can actually write on with a pen! This is your book. You can call it what you want - Your Goals Book, Life Journal, Guide to a Better You, Daily Musings -anything. Decorate the book if you wish, as it will stay with you for awhile.

2. Write your Dream List - Write down 30 things you wish to have in your life, right now. Think of 30 things that will make you really happy if you have it right now. It can be anything, from material possessions, monetary goals, family ideas, anything. Write down 30. If you find that you have more than 30, go crazy! Write them all, but we will prioritize on these 30 first.

3. Be as detailed as you can - Make your Dream List as detailed as possible. For example, if you want to get married to your dream man within the year, then write down what kind of a man you want - smart, holds a PhD, can make me laugh, loves to cook. Here's something you MUST remember, though - never, never, never put anything negative in your book - you can't even sound negative. For example, instead of wishing for your dream man to be "not a bad dancer", you should wish for "a great dancer". Or instead of wishing for "my boss to not fire me", wish for "a fantastic job, in a perfect workplace, with a great boss". Eliminate the "not", "can't", "won't", "maybe". Replace these with positive words

4. Write in the present tense. This can be tough, but make sure that all your items in your Dream List is in the present - that means, write like you already have it. So, instead of writing "I wish I can take one month off work to vacation in Bali", write "I am in beautiful Bali for a month, sitting by the beach, eating an ice cream, watching the sunrise". Why? Because research has proven that if your mind believes that you have experienced this before, it will try to achieve it again. It's mental conditioning.

5. Make it Real - If possible, find pictures/ photos of the 30 items in your Dream List, and paste it in your book - it makes it real. For example, if it's a Ferrari you want, then find a picture of a Ferrari, of the colour you want, maybe from a magazine, and paste it on the book. Then, paste a photo of you standing by the Ferrari. When your mind sees this often enough, it will believe that this is real. Or, go by a Ferrari showroom or car dealer, and test drive one. You will never forget that experience!

6. Daily Affirmation - Now that your Dream List is complete, look at it everyday. Repetition is the key to getting what you want. Look at them everyday, feel like you're already living it, and go on with your day. Don't do it as a chore - be happy doing it.

7. Daily Practise - Now, we have to practise living our dream everyday. Start by being happy at life. Just be happy. If something makes you unhappy, find something else that would channel all that unhappiness into happiness. For example, you're driving, the traffic is bad. You are starting to feel angry, and you find yourself thinking these thoughts "Why couldn't I have woke up 30 minutes earlier?" or "Why are the roads so congested - did everyone decide to go to work today?" or "Man! Look at that guy with that attitude! I wish he gets caught!". When you find yourself thinking these or more negative thoughts, STOP. Do something that makes you happy - turn on the radio, put on a song you like, start singing something to pick your mood up, think of your pet at home, maybe call someone you love (please use the handsfree kit!). You can change your mood, because you are in charge of your life, your moods, your emotions, your days. YOU are responsible for making yourself happy. Also, always be grateful for what you have
- Stuck in traffic? Be grateful you're in the car
- Your heels broke? Be grateful you have some money to get a new pair
- The food at the restaurant was horrible? Be grateful that you had a good time with your friends there.
- Your mum is always at your throat? Be grateful you have a mum who cares enough to argue for your benefit.
There is always something we can be grateful for.

So, try this, and see how they will change your life.


Hope these 7 Rules can serve as a guidance to a better life.
Good luck!
---------------------------------------------------------------
Sharmila is the Director of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre.
The opinions expressed here represent that of her opinion, based on her personal experiences.
For more information, please contact her at sharm79@gmail.com.

7 Surefire Rules to be a Better YOU - Part 6 of 7

Rule 6 - Notice the Power of ONE
"I am personally convinced that one person can be a change catalyst, a "transformer" in any situation, any organization"
Stephen Covey

Whether we realize it or not, the power of ONE is extremely evident, and it exists all around us. Sometimes, it takes only ONE moment, or person, or sentence, or event, or thought for something to happen - good or bad. More often than not, the creation of that ONE may have taken years of effort, money, time and contribution from many parties - but in the end, it is the ONE that people remember, that had carved its name comfortably in the history books, that had made a lasting impact.
The ONE bomb blastOn the 6th of August 1945, the United States dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima, a city in Japan. We all know the story and the impact of the attack - 60 000 buildings were destroyed, 70 000 people died instantly, and 70 000 more people died 5 years after the attack, due to radiation. All that from ONE bomb blast. The atomic bomb was a result of $2 billion worth of research and months of planning, and the impact of it lasts till today.

The ONE rock that dropped the giantIn the Bible (I refer to this story though I am not a Christian, as I truly believe that there are essential lessons which can be learnt from all faiths), the story of David and Goliath is a popular one. Goliath was a 9' tall giant with full armour, that everyone was terrified of. David, who was in his teens, and was barely armed with the exception of his sling shot and a bag of rocks, decided to face the giant. Despite the giant's insults and jeerings, and many people's doubt of this little boy's capabilities to fight the giant, David did not budge from his decision. Beyond everybody's belief, David used his slingshot and shot a rock at Goliath, hitting him on his eye, leading to his fall and eventual death. It was the ONE rock, from the ONE boy that dropped him.

The ONE hour that Earth blacked outIn 2007, for ONE hour, 2.2 million residents of Sydney participated in the Earth Hour a combined effort by WWF and the Sydney Morning Herald to create awareness towards the need to take action on the issue of climate change. That ONE hour led to 126 countries participating in the Earth Hour in 2010, where in the United States alone, 90 million people turned off their lights. In the Philippines, 15 million people turned off their lights. The ONE hour that Earth went dark, would have probably saved her years in life. That ONE hour brought all the people on Earth together; though miles apart and continents away, everyone participated for one common good - to save the Earth.

The ONE sentence that changed her lifeMichelle Aguilar was 242 pounds when she joined the Biggest Loser competition. To make matters worse, she joined in with her mother, who when Michelle was 18, called her on the phone to say that she was leaving her dad. Michelle, the eldest in the family felt devastated, especially since her mother decided to take her 2 siblings with her and started a new family, leaving Michelle with her father. Though she did love her dad, Michelle was constantly haunted by the question "Why did she leave me behind?". Throughout the Biggest Loser competition, Michelle was half-hearted because of her emotional baggage that she was carrying around. Trainer Jillian Michaels had trouble trying to get this girl to want to be there, till one day, Jillian confronted Michelle and asked her what was worrying her. Michelle poured her heart out, and the real problem that was bugging her came out - she was actually guilty to be joining the competition with her mom; she felt that she was betraying her father. Jillian made her call her father on the phone and Michelle told her father what was bothering her. To which her father replied that there was nothing she could possibly do to make him less proud of who she is. And he said "You are my inspiration" After lots of tear-shedding, Michelle walked out a different person. To cut a long story short, Michelle went on to lose a total of 110 pounds, and emerged the winner of the Biggest Loser 2008! What changed her? It could have been that ONE person, Jillian Michaels; it could have been that ONE moment, when she spoke to her dad; but I think, it is because of that ONE sentence - what her dad told her.

Sometimes in life, it is that ONE that truly matters - notice that, understand it, and use it to become the best you that you can ever be.

How you can use 'The Power of One' to be Better

1. Be that ONE person to someone. "To the world, you may be just one person; but to one person, you may be the world". How true that is. Sometimes, we aim to achieve so much in life, we end up disappointing those who think they have achieved something already, just by having us in their lives. Sometimes it helps, just to open up our eyes and look harder - the love we are looking for might be right in front of us; the wealth we are so busy digging for might be standing by our side all this time. I'm sure we remember those 'ONE person's in our lives - it could be that ONE teacher that believed in us, or that ONE friend that listened, or that ONE dog which showed us unconditional love. Choose to be 'that ONE person' to someone - it's definitely worth it.

2. Say that ONE sentence to someone in need. In the song Flying Without Wings, Westlife sang "Everybody's looking for that something, One thing that makes it all complete, You'll find it in the strangest places, Places you never knew it could be...You'll find it in the words of others, A simple line can make you laugh or cry" It sort of hits the nail on the head now, doesn't it? I mean, honestly, how many times have we been moved (either in a paralyzing or a crystallizing way) by something someone says? It may have come from someone that mattered in our lives, it may have come from someone who didn't matter in our lives, it may have come from someone we loved or hated, it may have come from someone in our childhood or days as an adult - we all have experienced someone somewhere, saying something at sometime that changed us, at least for that moment. Sometimes, we hear it in songs or in movies, both which had and still have a big impact on my life. One such movie is Mona Lisa Smile, which strengthened my belief in defying convention in education. Set in the 1950s, the movie is about a teacher who fights for her all-girl classroom to understand that there are options, that life is not just another black and white tale. She was resisted by one of her student, Betty, who adamantly believed that being housewives was the role that women were born to fill. In the end, Betty learnt the bitter lesson of life because she chose to allow convention to shadow her wisdom, but her teacher Katherine Watson decided to leave, and Katherine was labeled an 'aimless wanderer' by all at school, to which Betty responded "But not all who wander are aimless, especially those who seek truth beyond tradition, beyond definition, beyond the image". Truth is, we always have a choice of what to say to someone. Listen to your gut, open your eyes and ears and heart - if someone is in need of help, sometimes the best we can do is to listen, and offer that ONE sentence that can help.

3. Do that ONE deed that everyone says is too hard or impossible to do. I have been and am still always trying to live by what Gandhi said "Be the change you would like to see in the world today" - it's like he compressed a whole lot of wisdom and weight into that one sentence! "Be the change". That means, if you see garbage on the floor, you pick it up. If you hear water running without use, you turn it off. If you feel unhappy at work, you do something about it! Why you? Because you know you can! You cannot expect someone else to do it when you tell them to, but you can do it, can't you? That's something you can control. Whether or not we are going to achieve world peace, get rid of poverty, stop fighting over riches (or over colour and creed and race and religion...or over anything at all, for that matter), combat global warming, save the animals or use up all of earth's natural resources - we have a choice. We, yes, you and I, can make a difference. Start making a difference before expecting others to - lead by example, and bask in the glory of knowing that you did something right.

The Power of YOU

So, remember, you're never too incapable to make a difference - if you're moneyless but rich in time, give ONE hour to someone who needs it; if you're a person of words, give ONE sentence of support; if you're blessed with a pair of hands, do ONE good deed, pick up that piece of glass lying on the road to prevent it from hurting others; if you're scared, toughen up and take ONE step towards achieving your goals; if you're a teacher, change the life of ONE student if you can.

Remember, you can if you want to.

ONE woman refused to get off her seat in the bus so racism can be abolished (Rosa Parks)
ONE man went on hunger strikes for weeks for peace (Gandhi)
ONE child asked the right question (The Emperor's New Clothes)

ONE is not a number. It is a statement - so shout it out loud.
I'll leave you with this powerful poem, on the Power of ONE. Good luck in your journey to incorporate this powerful principle in your daily life.

To realize the value of ONE year
Ask a student who has failed the final exam

To realize the value of ONE month
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby

To realize the value of ONE week
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper

To realize the value of ONE day
Ask the labourer who earns a daily income to support his wife and kids

To realize the value of ONE hour
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet

To realize the value of ONE minute
Ask the person who has missed his flight

To realize the value of ONE second
Ask a person who has survived an accident

To realize the value of ONE milisecond
Ask the person who won the Silver medal in the Olympics.

Coming up...Part 7 of the "7 Surefire Rules to be a Better YOU"

7 Surefire Rules to be a Better YOU - Part 5 of 7

Rule 5 - Consistency is Key

I have always been blessed with daily chores that end up teaching me important life lessons. One important lesson I learnt about scrubbing floors is consistency.

I learnt, that there are 2 methods to scrub a stubborn stain off the floor:
Method 1 - With brute force
Method 2 - With minimal force, done repeatedly

It's true! Once, when I was in pain and had to scrub some oil stains off the floor (yes, had to, because my 2 little doggies would develop a rash at the slightest existence of stains/ unwashed chemicals on the floor) I knew using force was not an option (plus, I had run out of the woman's best friend - Clorox bleach!), so I calmly started scrubbing the same area over and over again. Though it did take up some of my (precious!) time, it was either that or pink rashes on my terriers' bodies! So I gathered up all the patience I could muster, and scrubbed, over and over and over again. The amount of force used was almost negligible, but eventually, the stain started to disappear. I was literally ecstatic! More because of the life lesson I had learnt that the (almost) squeaky clean floor!

Consistency.

That is an important key to success.

Consistency and Building the YOU Brand

Once, when I interviewed former TV3 personality turned image consultant, Datin Sharifah Shawati about being an entrepreneur, she too had good things to say about consistency. "Momentum and Consistency are really important to an entrepreneur. When I teach people about image, I tell them to be consistent, because a lack of it would mean that you do not have that brand you rave about in your business. When I was in TV3, I would always dress up immaculately - even when I had to cover a flood assignment! Then one day, when there was a show about fashion and they were looking for a host, guess who they asked? ME!"

It's true what Datin Shawati said about how consistency makes or breaks a brand.
When we think 7-Eleven, we think 24 hours accessibility - we know that no matter what, if all the other shops are closed, we could run into 7-Eleven and grab that 10 bottles of Coca Cola we need for the party tomorrow.
When we think McDonalds, we think quick, affordable food.
When we think Hallmark, we think classy.

Why? Because all these brands were consistent in their practise and values.

Consistency makes or breaksMy student once pointed out that Nike shoes were 'unreliable' (his words, not mine, so I would expect that lawsuit to not be on its way!) because the bottom rubber flap keeps coming off. The Quad Squad (which consists of me, my 2 sisters and my husband!) love to go on culinary adventures, and well, KFC is on our list of fave foods. However, unfortunately, we have striked off KFC outlets in some locations here (and put them in the 'Don't Even Think About Bringing This Up' list!), simply because we feel the quality of the chicken, drinks and service are compromised (and we have decided that if we were going to put all that calories in us, we are not going to settle for less than the best in quality and food!). Everytime I switch on the TV and see a (quite aimless and pointless) reality show on girls and guys trying to impress each other (if you're thinking which reality show - here's a clue...ALL OF THEM!) I immediately, without even giving it a second thought, switch to another channel.

So you see, being consistent can affect your brand name in a good or bad manner. So, if you're bad, should you be consistently bad? Well, not at all. But if you're bad, then you change to be good for like a day, and then go back to being bad, you're not going to be customer-magnet of the year, now, are you?
"But change must always be balanced with some degree of consistency"
Ron D Burton

Consistency - A Movie Point of ViewWhy do we connect to heroes in a movie - because they are consistently good. So much so, that even on the rare occassions that they do something wrong, we take his side (Superman, Batman, Spidey)! The same theory applies to villains and comic reliefs. That is why, when an actor breaks into the movie scene for the very first time playing a particular character, we find it rather difficult to accept them in another role:

- After Girl Interrupted, can you possibly see Angelina Jolie acting as a dumb blonde?
- Can you see Nicole Kidman playing a goofy character?
- What do you think when you see Maya Karin after her stint in the Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam?

You see, consistency does matter.

Consistency vs Complacency

BUT, consistency should not be misinterpreted as complacency. Being consistent does not mean that you do not embrace change, but on the contrary, it actually means that if you wish to embrace change, then you must embrace change all the time. It means that if you decide to be a smiley person, then keep smiling, even when things don't go too well. It means that if you want to fight for a dream, then keep fighting no matter what people say, or no matter how tough things can get.

It means that if you have set your mind to do something, whatever it may be, then do it. Just do it. No excuses. No change of heart. Move forward and consistently work at it.

1. Consistency and losing weight - if you want to lose weight, and you're determined to do it, then do it consistently. It should not be a quick fix formula that sees you shedding those pounds in 7 days, only to help you gain it all again the next week. Have a plan that will help you lose weight on a consistent basis - maybe at the rate of 1kg a week.

2. Consistency and work - if you want to be seen as a highly motivated and energetic person at work, then do things that reflect you in that manner, all the time. You do not have to do the same thing over and over, but similar things that will help people think of the word "Motivated" when they see you. Maybe walk into the office with high spirits daily, speak in a pumped up manner. Here's the thing- if you always portray a consistent image at work, people know what to come to you for. If you're always working late, people know they can call you at 10pm for work purposes, and you'd be ok with that. If you're chatty and bubbly at work, people know they can come to you to chat, or when they do not have a lunch buddy. If you're always strict at work, people know to stay the distance. How you are portrayed at work depends a great deal on the amount of consistency you diligently display at work.
"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days when you feel good"
Jerry West, former professional basketball player for the LA Lakers

3. Consistency at home - we have quite a lot of chores to do at home, and my sisters and I have come up with a system to make it work. So when 1 sister cleans up, the other takes the dog for a walk, and the other is probably working on the prayer room. So when this happens, we know who to approach when something is not done :) Consistency at home can be seen in the responsibilities we hold, and how well we perform at it. Consistency helps run a family.

Just imagine...Just imagine what would have happened if these people decided that consistency doesn't work for them

1- Oprah Winfrey - can you imagine if she had quit being a talk show host after 1 year working at it, maybe because she thought it was hard, and that fighting to prove herself was simply too tiring?

2- Helen Keller's teacher - can you imagine what would have happened had Helen Keller's teacher given up on her consistent lessons to the very stubborn, unruly and almost unteachable visually impaired child?

3- Terry Fox - can you imagine if Terry Fox had stopped his run for cancer because it was too tough, because no one was supporting him in the initial stages, because he was bleeding from his amputated leg?

If all these people had said "Well, it was good while it lasted, but I think I'll stop now", we would not be experiencing all the joys and magic of what they have brought to the world. Wouldn't that be sad?

The ChallengeStart by writing 1 thing you would like to consistently focus on. When you have mastered that, try another, and see the results. You will enjoy it!

"Don't pray when it rains, if you don't pray when the sun shines"
Leroy Paige

Coming up...Part 6 of the "7 Surefire Rules to be a Better YOU"