Another Big Step for Women

Rosa Parks, 1955

Manal al-Sharif, 1955

Since that day in December 1955 when one black woman refuse to give up her bus seat to accommodate the white passengers, many women have followed suit in defying convention. That lady was Rosa Parks, and her decision to say NO when the bus driver commanded her to give up her seat to white passengers, has given so many people - women and men alike - the courage to fight back for what they believe is their right.

We have inspirational women all around us - women who dare say no when needed, knowing well how much trouble it would eventually get them into.

Today, The Success Chronicles says Kudos to Manal al-Sharif, for saying no to the traditional Saudi belief that women cannot drive an automobile without consulting her male guardian. This belief, which also bans women from listening to music has been practised in Saudi Arabia for generations.

CNN.com showcased the story of Al-Sharif, who was trained to belief that listening to music was a sin. One day, she decided to, without a male guardian's permission, listen to her brother's cassette, and the Backstreet Boys song "Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely" playing at that time sounded like a message she had always needed to hear. No more isolating herself in a lonely world - get out there and do something.

That one song, that one instance, gave her the courage she needed to go one step further in defying convention. She drove a car. And just to rub it in, she posted her endeavor on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT-3I5jg1xg)

I think it is a big step for women all over the world. We are a nation of our own. Women all over, of all nations have their own stories, no matter where they were born, how rich or poor they are, their choice of careers or their decision to start families. And together, we must know how to find strength from each other's stories.

Today, Manal al-Sharif is the strength many of us need. She is not merely a woman who dared to stray from the norm - she is a message to all us ladies out there, to be brave, be bold and to defy convention - because we can, and because sometimes, we must. Fight for what you believe is true. Fight for what is your right.

Thanks Manal - you have taken another big step for us women all over the world.
Thanks for being an inspiration.

Behind Every Successful Richard is an Eve

Eve and Richard Branson

I have had many parents call me up for the Young Entrepreneur Camp I organize annually, and ask if the camp can help their shy children. And based on the number of similar calls I receive, I'm guessing that there are a lot shy kids around.

So, if you are a mother of a shy child, what would you do?
Some parents apologize to people, saying "Sorry, my son is so shy" or "Oh dear, I'm truly sorry, she is just shy". If you approach this challenge this way, then read on.

Eve, mother of Richard was faced with this challenge years ago. She realized that her young child was extremely shy and would hide behind her dress and just refuse to speak to adults. It became so bad, it was disabling. One day, after a shopping trip, Eve asked her son to get out of her car about 3 miles away from home, and find his way home on foot. "What if I get lost?!" asked the bewildered child. "Well then, you'd have to ask for directions from the adults you meet along the way".

10 hours late, Richard came home. And his shyness was cured. He had asked many people for directions on how to get home (and stopped for awhile to play with bugs), but when he got home, he was a different child.

Today, this young boy is Richard Branson.
And he thanks his mother everyday for that experience he will never forget.

You cannot be an entrepreneur or a business person or succeed in any career if you are shy - or unable to share your thoughts with others or work in a team.

I for one, believe that an entrepreneurial attitude and business sense, if instilled in kids at a young age, will teach them the essence of life. Success come easily to whole-rounded individuals.

If you are a parent, here are some very important life lessons you can teach your kids:

1- Teamwork.
No matter what your child grows up to be, understanding the essence of teamwork if pivotal. Learning about teamwork is more than just listening to a lecture on why geese fly in a V shape. Theoretically, everyone is a good team player - but the raw truth is that many people cannot work in teams. A good way to start kids off in teams would be to put them in team sports.

2- Support their Skills.
From a very young age, you will know what your child is interested in. I like to spend time learning about human psychology by watching TV shows - and one of my favourites is Jon and Kate Plus 8 (now just Kate Plus 8), a story about a family of one set of twins and one set of sextuplets. I like how Kate, the mum, knows exactly what her kids are into. One boy loves trying to make things fit. He loves Lego. Another boy loves to make sure everything is organized properly before he plays his games, and picks up after himself. One girl simply loves attention, and gravitate to people naturally. So when you see your kids have certain interests, support them. In an interview I had with Norman from KRU, he shares how his father bought him a guitar at a very young age because he realized his boys loved music. There are many stories out there that prove the important roles parents play in moulding their children into successful people.

3- Etiquette and Respect for Others
Once, during my camp, I had a very aggressive 9-year old. He would strive to win every challenge, but I began to realize something in him - he lacked the element of respect. He pushed the girls in his team around, would speak rudely to the facilitators, but would only do so when I was not looking. In front of me, he was an angel. When his team did not win the final challenge, he was really angry. He came up to me, and in the heat of things, said "If we lose everything, then I'll tell my father never to send me to this camp again!". Why is having etiquette and respect so important? It may be true that when you rudely swerve in front of others in traffic or use the emergency lane when driving may get you to work on time, it is plain rude. Why succeed on someone else's expense when there can always be a win-win. This is an extremely important lesson to teach kids - and the best way is through leadership by example.

Every successful individual has stories to share about their parents.
While some rave about how their parents have helped them succeed, others share how their parents never gave them any support.

Of course, in the current day and age that we live in, doing what Eve Branson did to her son might not be the safest thing in the world. It's not what she did, really. It's why she did it; and we can definitely emulate the way she thinks.

The ball is in your court, so choose wisely!

This post is dedicated to all mothers and fathers, all the Eve Bransons who defied convention and sometimes gone against what they believed, to support their children to become the successes they are today.
Happy Mothers' and Fathers' Day!

Think KFC Before Quitting

Have you ever felt like quitting? Throwing in the towel? Like you've just had about enough?

STOP!

Have you heard of the KFC story?
If not, you must read this before deciding to give up.

Harland Sanders was quite contended with his little restaurant, where he served his fried chicken for a living. Things were going so well, he added a motel by his restaurant. When he was 45, the Governor of Kentucky awarded him with a Colonel title for his fabulous cooking skills. Things were going so well!

Then, IT happened. The government decided to build an expressway just in front of Sanders' restaurant and motel, making accessibility to the restaurant, an impossibility. He had to shut down, in fear of irrecoverable losses. So, he sat at home and received government support in the form of a meagre $105 a month.

During this time, Sanders' felt that there was definitely more to life than just sitting at home doing nothing. It was then, that Sanders' decided to do something he knew how to do so effortlessly - fry chicken! He grabbed a pan, some oil and lots of chicken, threw them into his car and drove off, he didn't know where to.

Quite directionless, he decided to stop at the first restaurant he came upon - and he tried to sell his chicken. "Just take them" he'd say, "and pay me if the customers like them". The restaurant owner tasted the fried chicken, agreed that is was amazing - but said no to him. No to free chicken.

So, he went back into his car and approached the next restaurant. Here too, the owner loved the fried chicken - but said no thanks to Sanders.

So Sanders went back and repeated this to every restaurant he came across that day.
But the days turned to weeks and the weeks to months, and months to years - no one wanted to sell his fried chicken. He continued the same routine - sleep in his car at night, and sell chicken in the daytime.

Let me ask you a question now :
If you were Colonel Sanders, how many restaurants would you have approached before quitting?
How many NOs would have been too much for you? 10? 50? 100?
How many days would you have stayed in your car before you decided that you've had just about enough and drive home to that $105 a month pay check?
How many more people would you have approached?

Do you know how many restaurants Colonel Sanders approached before finally hearing a YES?
1009. That's correct. He approached 1009 restaurants persistently until a restaurant bought his fried chicken. And he kept on going!

This is not just a success story to read and feel warm about.
Think about it - this man almost quit. He could've been satisfied just living by with the $ 105 check he received. But he didn't.

It's all about how far you will go.

How far will you go to lose that stubborn kilos off your body? Daily exercise? Eating only healthy food?

How far will you go to get that job of your dreams, no matter what 'people' tell you?

Ask yourselves:
How far will you go before you quit..
And when you decide to quit, think KFC.

Good luck!

The Baseball Theory of Life

Have you ever heard the saying "Life is like a baseball game?" No? Well, neither have I.

But I thought about it once, and it astounded me how much life and living resembled what happens out there on the baseball field.

Well, though, admittedly, I am no expert on the Major or Little Leagues, but thanks to the silver screen, I think I got the basics of the game pretty much figured out.



One day, I shared this analogous theory of mine to my class of students, and I could've sworn I heard the "Click!" go off in their teenage minds, accompanied by the gaped "I Got It!" expressions. Miss those kids...


The Game - In Layman Terms
Baseball is a sport played with bats and balls. The batter (the one with the bat) stands in the centre, surrounded by 4 corners, known as bases, which are 'secured' by 4 players on the other team. The pitcher (the ball-thrower), who is from the other team, will throw the ball (can this get anymore layman??) to the batter. The batter, will, with all his might (and tactics...) hit the ball. The main aim of the batter is to hit the ball as far away as he can, to disable the opponent team from getting to it and reaching the base before they do.

The opponent team's main aim is to get the ball and 'touch' one of the 4 bases on the field - and when this happens, it's "STTTRRRIIKKKEE OOONNEEE" for the batter. 3 strikes, and he's out. Once the batter hits the ball, his aim is to make it to 2nd base and as many bases as he can before the opponent team reaches the base - or he's out. But if he manages to reach the 4th and final base, that's a Home Run.

Phheeww! Believe me, for a girl that doesn't play much sports, that was an accomplishment of magnitude proportions!

So here it is, my Baseball Theory of Life.


The Baseball Theory of Life

1. The Ball Is Coming...What to Do?
A Lesson in Facing Challenges
In baseball, if you are holding the bat, you will be faced with the inevitable event of the ball hurling towards you. In this instance, what do you do? Well, let's identify the options.

(a) You can do the most obvious thing and hit it
(b) You can duck or run away so the ball won't hit you
(c) You can do absolutely nothing, knowing well the ball will hit you
(d) You can catch the ball and throw it back

Life is very much the same.

In life, we are faced with an insurmountable amount of challenges - this is almost always certain. Challenges must come because we are alive.

Did you know that the word 'life' originated from the Proto-Indo-European word 'lip', which means 'to remain, persevere and continue'? So you see, being alive is more than just being alive - we have to work at it. It's more of a verb, an action rather than a noun, really, if you think about it. So to persevere at life is to keep at it - keep at what? Keep facing everyday in the face so we can still be alive the next day.

One of my favourite authors and self help gurus, Tony Robbins once said, that in life, we are either climbing or sliding. If we strive to improve our lives, we become better (climbing); or if we choose not to do anything to improve, we actually become worse (sliding). So basically, this means, that even if you were to remain in status quo, some work needs to be done. Interesting observation, wouldn't you say?

So in life, challenges are inevitable..but it's not so much what happens that determine what kind of a person we are - it's how we react to what happens that shapes us.

If you look at it from the baseball point of view, you'll see that the options we have when the ball is approaching us are similar to the options we have in life.

Ask yourself - how do you react to challenges around you?

(a) Do you face it head on?
(b) Do you run away so the challenge won't be able to find or hurt you?
(c) Do you do absolutely nothing, knowing well that you will be hit hard by the challenge?
(d) Do you get mad and fight back or retaliate?

What would YOU do?

2. Do you have what it takes to Hit and Run?
A Lesson in Trust and Risk TakingHere, we are looking at the element of trust.

We humans are rather complicated. More often than not, we want to know why we need to do things that are asked of us, before we decide whether or not we want to do it. And often, we want to wait and see the consequence of our actions before moving on.

Now here's a question - if there is a system in place, and you are but one element of this system, and you have your very own role to play, as in all the other elements in the system...can you just play your role without wondering what the consequence or outcome is? Can you trust that if you do your part, that the other elements and the system will follow through?

There is an interesting story in Greek mythology, which backs this up.

Orpheus, was a great musician - and he married Eurydice. Life together was filled with bliss, until one day, Eurydice died of a snake bite. In Greek mythology, it is believed that those who pass on go to the Underworld, ruled by Hades. So, finding himself unable to bear the painful loss of his beloved wife, Orpheus decided to travel to the Underworld himself, to get her back.

The grim Hades, the God of the Underworld was enthralled by the musical charms of Orpheus, that he granted him his wish of having his wife Eurydice back with him in the real world. BUT, Hades' boon came with one condition. Hades said he will send Eurydice with Orpheus, but when Orpheus walks out of the Underworld, he was asked not to ever look back to see if Eurydice is following him. So basically, Hades asked Orpheus to trust him.

Young Orpheus, filled with excitement and anxiety, knowing that it will only be moments before he'd be able to have his wife back, started to walk confidently out of the caves. He walked, and he walked for what may have seemed like days! And then, he saw the mouth of the cave. Just as he was approaching the cave opening, he started questioning Hades' promise.

Is Eurydice really behind me?
Can I trust Hades?
What if I walk all the way, only to know that Hades has cheated me?
Oh no..I can't even hear her behind me...am I fooled?
And with each step he took, his doubts started to become more unbearable. His mind was in a mess because of uncertainty. And he made the biggest mistake in his life.
HE LOOKED BACK!

And as he did, he saw his wife, who was in fact, just behind him, being pulled away back to the Underworld.

I remember first reading this story, and feeling immense sadness and guilt! I mean, can you even imagine being in Orpheus' shoes?

The lesson here is TRUST.
How many of us trust things that are going on around us?

In baseball, the term hit and run is used when there is a player on the 2nd base, waiting to run to the 3rd base when the batter hits the ball. Here's what happens: when the batter hits the ball, he runs to the 2nd base, the player currently on the 2nd base will run to the 3rd, the player on 3rd will run onto the 4th and final base, and the team wins a Homerun.

Here's the trick. The player on 2nd base will start running just seconds before the batter hits the ball, so he gains advantage of time. Now, if the batter is good, he will be able to hit the ball far enough so the opponents would not be able to get to it before they reach their respective bases. BUT, what can happen, is that the batter does not hit the ball hard enough. In this case, the player on the 2nd base would have started running. So he would neither be on 2nd nor 3rd base when the ball is hit. If the opponent gets to the ball before he reached 3rd base, he's out.

So if you understand the game, you will see that the player on the 2nd base runs without even waiting to see how successful the batter was at hitting the ball. He just takes the risk and starts to run! What is this, if not TRUST in its finest form? And this is not easy to do, because you'd know that there is a possibility that you might be out.

What would you do if you're on 2nd base?
Would you run slower, so if in case the batter failed to do his job well, you could run back to the safety of the 2nd base?
Or would you trust the batter with all your life, decide to take the risk and start running the fastest you possibly can to get to the 3rd base?

We all know that sometimes, a choice must be made - you either run slow, or run fast. Because staying on the fence without a decision is the worst choice yet!

Can you trust the system (the game) enough to be able to just play your role without seeing the outcome of it? Do you believe that you are, in fact a part of a bigger picture, without sometimes being able to see the bigger picture?

Ask yourself these questions:
1. When working for an organization, and you realize that your days are filled with repetition, where you basically do the same thing over and over again - you write recruitment letters everyday; you sell the same product everyday; you work on the same programme everyday; you teach students everyday - do you trust that you are an important part of a bigger picture, or that your work is so mundane, it's unimportant?

2. If someone comes up to you and says "Paint this picture" but all you see is a small scrap of paper that means nothing, but he says that 1000 other people are painting little scraps that will later be joined into a big picture that does make sense, would you do it? Would you do it if it took 3 days to complete? 5 days? A week? A year? Would you do it, trustingly?

3. When you are planning a trip with your family, do you organize everything yourself because you simply cannot afford to trust others, in case they make a mistake and forget to do certain things that might ruin the vacation?

4. If you are running the 4 X 100m event, would you trust that once you have passed the baton to your team mate, that she will be able to reach the finish line as fast as you might have?
Do you trust that everything will be ok even if you don't put your hands in everything?
Do you trust your team mates enough to delegate tasks to them?
Do you trust your teacher enough to know that he'll lead you to success?
Do you trust your boss enough when he says that the risk he took or a tough decision he made was going to benefit the organization and you in the long run?
The thing is, sometimes, we are required to trust whole-heartedly. And sometimes, this lack of trust can lead to our downfall, especially when we are working in a system as a part of one whole.


Conclusion
So what do you think? Life is very much like a baseball game isn't it?
It's amazing what and how much we can learn from unorthodox methods.
Remember that learning is not only something you do in the classroom of your school. The whole world is a classroom. And everything and everyone around you can serve as teachers, if you'd only open up your mind enough to want to learn.

Learn what people say, from books, from TV shows, from conferences, from a walk in the park, from shopping, from dining and of course, from games and sports like baseball.

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. The opinions expressed here are of her own, based on her personal experience. PELL is an organization that strives on the concept of learning that is unconventional. The author welcomes comments at sharm79@gmail.com

What We Can Learn About Leadership from Mona Lisa Smile

I wouldn't categorize myself as a 'die-hard' fan of Julia Roberts, but every so often, we chance upon an actor or actress that just shine in their role. They do not try to hard to play the part, but somehow, their acting simply resonates with your inner being. You start feeling like you're in their shoes, and you start rooting for them. For me, these talented individuals include Gerard Butler in 300, Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, Meryl Streep in Julie and Julia...and Julia Roberts. I think Julia Roberts' movies are life-transforming - Erin Brockovich was inspiring; Eat, Pray, Love was refreshing; and Mona Lisa Smile was what made me want to break the norms of conventional education and teach my students that being different is something good.

About Mona Lisa Smile
This movie depicts a story about tradition, values and one’s own principles. Set in 1953, this movie revolved around Katherine Watson, an art lecturer who was hired into Wellesley College, an all-girls college which values tradition and beliefs. Katherine was very anxious for her first day in class, and her students didn’t make it any easier when they had come to class, with full knowledge of what is taught, as they had memorized the entire textbook.

Katherine thought this very unusual, and she felt intimidated by her students – the students were as such because they were conditioned by their families and college traditions to act the way they did in the classroom. Katherine came back to class the other day, with art that students had not seen before. This act surprised the students very much, as they were not used to a new challenges, and as this was not the norm.

Katherine moved on, treating her students with respect and friendliness, trying to pull them away from the norm of the concept that women’s priorities are to be a good mother and wife. She strived to teach the students that there is more to life than meets the eye, or than what they were supposed to believe about themselves. Katherine also had to fight the college’s age old traditions with her principles and beliefs, by having to go against her colleagues, the principal and the board of directors.

Leadership and the Symbolic Frame
When this movie is looked at from the Symbolic Frame point of view, the question which can be asked, is that of whether Wellesley College was looked at as a theatre or a temple?
Katherine Watson had a very controversial student in her class named Betty Warren. Betty was also influential as her mother is in the College Board of Directors. It was obvious that Betty showed no inhibition to display her power many a times. In one instance, Katherine Watson was teaching a class, and in barges Betty Warren with all her pomp and glitz, making an impressionable entrance back to school after recently tying the knot. The conversation was as follows:

Betty Warren – “Don't disregard our traditions just because you're subversive”
College as a Temple - Here, Betty is reminding her lecturer that college traditions should be respected, and not simply gone against as pleased. Betty got married, and that is an important element in a lady’s life – becoming a good mother and wife – and she expects Katherine to respect that
Katherine Watson : “Don't disrespect this class just because you're married”College as a Theatre- To which, Katherine responded as above. Katherine sees the college as a theatre, where she is playing the role of a lecturer, and Betty and the other students, playing the role of students. And no matter who Betty was or what she did in her personal life, in Katherine’s class, she should be a student.

Katherine Watson, the Symbolic Leader

Symbolic leaders like Katherine can be identified through their leadership by example, symbols, vision and stories. Katherine always told her students to “Look beyond the paint”. She has always wished to instill in her students that the image created about them by their forefathers are not necessarily true today.

She wanted the students to look beyond the paint to value the art better, to look beyond what they feel they are worth and see what they are truly worth, she wanted them to look beyond the surface of their image, and look for more challenges in life. She did this by encouraging their thought processes and by asking for feedback.. She proved that her action was louder than her words, when she decided to leave Wellesley to seek new challenges, and not to conform to the role the college had about her.
Katherine also often communicated her vision to her students. "I thought I was headed to a place that would turn out tomorrow's leaders, not their wives" she often chided, to remind her students that not only men can be leaders; that as women, they too must understand and embrace their birth right to be leaders. In 1953, an era which saw women as doting mothers, prim wives and proper ladies, the idea of women playing the role of leaders was unorthodox, unheard of and simply wrong.

Katherine did not see anything wrong with that, except for the fact that the college, an institution of education, was more focused on ensuring this tradition is kept alive, instead of educating the students to think and decide for themselves. Katherine spreads and communicates her vision that women can be good mothers and wives, but women can also focus on career at the same time.
Katherine Watson was a symbolic leader in many aspects

Sharmila is the CEO of the Professional Excellence and Lifelong Learning Centre. All the opinions expressed here are of her own, based on her personal experiences. She welcomes comments at sharm79@gmail.com